Emotionally held hostage

[annieb56]

I am a parent of an adult daughter in deep depression. Nothing I suggest, say, or do seems to motivate her to get help. When we are together I try to be upbeat and reassuring that she is not alone, but I feel as if I'm preparing to bury her. No amount of love seems to have an impact. What am I not doing that will help her help herself?

[1800girl]

Being a daughter I’m 38 and I suffer from terrible depression ...just really try to offer her every route you can maybe an outpatient program can help or maybe a mental rehab I know some are covered by Insurance, don’t ever think you are burying her as that is not how god plans it. Keep positive and something good can lift her mood it’s day by day

[annieb56 in reply to 1800girl]

Thanks. I've suggested rehab/ therapy but she says, "I don't think it will help." I am supportive and want her to at least show some desire to get help, but right now that's not happening.

[J760]

I’m sorry your daughter is going through such a difficult time. If this is her first episode of major depression, I would have her go to her primary doctor to rule out other problems. The doctor will also have her complete a depression test. He could then prescribe meds for her depression. Ask her doctor to recommend the name of a good counselor. If she has a history of depression and is currently on antidepressants, a psychiatrist would be a better choice because they are more knowledgeable about psych meds. When I get severely depressed I can’t think clearly and everything seems like it’s such a big effort so it might be easier for someone else to take the lead and help her. Ask if she would like you to make the doctor appointment and take her. If you know she will be resistant to your help, maybe she would be more open to someone else’s help. It could be another family member’s or a close friend of hers, someone she is close to and confides in. When I have periods of severe depression and anxiety, my sister is the one who reaches out to me or I reach out to her. She also has depression, and I confide in her more than my mom or my daughter. I am also more open to her encouragement and advice. Ghost Queen is right saying she should do things she enjoys. Take her on walks, get her outside in nature, etc. Continue to be supportive without being a nagging mother. Show her and tell her you love her.

[annieb56]

To those of you who are interested and may want to follow me and my daughter's journey it helps me to write about it. I acknowledge that depression and mental dis-ease can be a day by day rollercoaster.

Today is a actually a good day. She has 2 job interviews lined up and her sister told me she believes the Lexapro is helping. I give her positive reinforcement and reassure her I'm here if/when she needs me and her dad. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I am making a choice to be grateful and hopeful. That's how I get through my day.