Spouse doesn’t understand.

Hi. I have both anxiety and depression. I’ve been out of work since September due to the extent of my symptoms. My doctor and I are working hard to avoid hospitalization. My wife doesn’t understand me. She feels that can just snap out of it. She is also upset that I lost my last three jobs due to my anxiety. I’m currently working on getting into a vocational program for people with disabilities. I had neuropsych testing and found that I have a problem with my working memory. This has really increased my anxiety when I work. Anyway, my wife feels I can just go out and get a job. I expressed to her that I now need help from the vocational agency to get work. This is taking a long time and is causing marital stress.

[HearYou]

Sorry you are having such a difficult time. One suggestion would be to have your wife attend your sessions with your doctors so she hears from the professionals their opinions and plans for the future regarding your challenges and employment. Hearing that information from the professionals and including your wife in the treatment plan may help her feel better informed and involved in your care and your marriage's future.

[Hidden in reply to HearYou]

Thank you. Great idea.

[HearYou in reply to Hidden]

It helped my marriage significantly. Best wishes.

[gogogirl]

If you are having trouble with memory, have you talked to your medical doctor about this?

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

Yeah. He did a MRI. That showed that my brain was clear. Unfortunately, the tests showed that I have a learning disability.

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

Well, that's good that the MRI was clear. Are you an older person? I am an older person who was found to have a certain type of LD, but I did work in a profession. I just wondered if this anxiety came on suddenly. LD or LLD is looked at differently now with younger people in schools.

[Hidden in reply to gogogirl]

I am older, middle aged. I have had anxiety since I was a child.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

You say you have anxiety- but did you have struggles in school ( LD) as a child? I originally went to a nueropsych because dementia runs in my family. He said I did not have that yet! The LD was uncovered as part of the exam. We know that as we age also, we tend to not process info as fast as when we are 20 especially when we learn something new ( like tech for me)! What field are you in? I also found a website called Job Accomodation Network ( JAN) that has some suggestions for people with LD. I also hope that you get some professional help for anxiety.

[pink83737]

This is totally normal! I am only 17 & have been having memory problems mainly from my medication and it’s hard to even think straight because you are so caught up in your own thoughts. This will pass, what really helped me is omega 3’s and just try and eat healthy food that are good for the brain! It really makes a difference maybe do a word search every morning or any downtime you have

[Hidden in reply to pink83737]

Thank you so much for your reply. I have been eating poorly. I will use your suggestions.

[gogogirl in reply to Hidden]

If you are at least middle aged , it might not be so unusual to have some memory issues. I can relate! I find that writing information down and keeping it in an appointment type book can help. It's not totally fool proof but it can help. And of course eating right, and exercising. You can message me privately if you'd like. Good luck to you. Hopefully, as your wife becomes better informed also, you can help each other with challenges. Remember all humans have strengths and weaknesses. Remember, you are in the driver's seat and are just getting some assistance.

[Hidden]

Thank you so much for your reply. It really helps.

[Madison10]

Hi Mohawk,

Don’t worry you are not alone. I have a similar issue with my wife. She is so compassionate with other people and it’s frustrating and it hurts. We can’t help it what happens to us. I was diagnosed with PTSD and A depression dis order and it’s insulting for someone you are married to , to dismiss it and say get over it. My suggest is to find a support group in your area. There some with no charge. You can call hospitals and churches. Everyone is fighting something’s I found a support group and one by one dropped out. Good luck and if you want to talk to someone., I’m here, my name is Michael

[Hidden in reply to Madison10]

Thanks for your support. I really appreciate your response. I really like your suggestions.

[Hidden]

Mohawk,

My ex-husband feels that our daughter should be able to snap out of it. A couple of days ago, he suggested that she should apply to Officer Training School! Whaaat?! Some people might be able to do that, but everyone is different.

The struggle is real, but we have to continue to move forward at our own pace.

Blessings!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Delta. I appreciate your response.

[Hidden]

Whenever you need to chat, I'm here.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much for your support. I am very appreciative. Thanks for your response. I would like to chat sometime.

[Hidden]

Bring the chat on!

[Hidden]

Mohawk,

Please tell me little bit about the neuropsych testing. Did you see a neurologist? My daughter is having problems with her memory.

[Hidden]

Can I pm you?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

yes!