Weird Weird Dysfunctional and Weird

[MorticiaBlue]

Tonight my cousins was talking. The cousin i live with who has the bipolar exhusband who's still on drugs while shes a highly functional alcoholic said in defense of her husband " everybody got a little crazy. You just have to pick your crazy or the crazy you want to put up with". Yeah and on my job education for life choices I checked " during grad school I'd like to become a depressed alcoholic, feel rejected, unloved and oh yeah throw in an abusive mother who strips away my self esteem with every visit, telephone call on my job, in front of relatives and friends. Yeah that's my dream for the future". NOT! What do you guys think? Can't wait til I get out this nut house. I was around more sanity in the psych hospital. Peace!

[HearYou]

Well, not certain why you are living where you are, but at least you have a roof over your head and hopefully food on the table. And while not exactly my cup of tea either, you appear to be managing the "interesting" environment find yourself. My best wishes that your education will soon be completed and you can make some life choices that are better suited for you.

[MorticiaBlue in reply to HearYou]

The incident that i mentioned is over 40 years ago when i had my first breakdown. I'm 64 years old now. I live with my 62 yr old cougar cousin who's still in love with her self destructive bipolar dope fiend ex-husband who while i pay rent gets to come over and run the house. I'm a recovering addict with 27 years. I lost my career in 2013 and now instead of 5 figures a month, my check barely covers living expenses. I'm a spiritual woman who's grateful to still be here. I know from whence cometh my help. But being in a house full of chaos with my diagnosis i know is NOT part of his plan. You thought you were answering a younger woman didn't you? That's how I feel because everytime I'm around family members I'm that little shy bookworm that was abused by her mother and her maternal family because she wasn't like them. Controlled, manipulated and abused. Yet i did get to grad school but not thru grad school. I know you didn't ask for this response but you in a way have really proven a point to me. Abuse is my root of origin. Why do I put myself in the same situation over and over again? I need to move away from my dysfunctional toxic family. PEACE💚

[HearYou in reply to MorticiaBlue]

Best wishes in whatever steps you take to be in a healthier environment. Your age didn't matter to me, but you did pose your post in a way that one could suspect you were in school at the moment And you asked what we thought. So I did with consideration and honesty. What was your reason for posting? Guess I am a bit confused. I had no intention of proving any point about abuse or family. Hope you are getting any professional assistance you ,need and I wish the best to you for a better life.

[MorticiaBlue]

I wasn't offended by your answer at all. If i gave you that impression, I apologize. I do get frustrated because I feel like I'm going thru the same cycle. Yes i do have a therapist who's been on vacation. Holidays are usually my worst time and most ppl unnerve me with over indulging ( which i use to start celebrating in October when i was using). But I'm older and laid back. It's not easy living with a 62 year cougar who's still trying to prove that she's young enough to hang with millineals. Sorry I waa not angry or agitated at all. Peace💚

[HearYou in reply to MorticiaBlue]

No worries. Was away from home for a few days and was with family for the first time in a few years. It was better than being in my city where there are some in-laws that usually make Christmas a soap opera from he**. They actually left that out this year when they were at my house for early holiday dinner and stocking stuffers. Surprised the heck out of me....even received a thank you note. But was glad I was gone for the rest week.

Had gotten to where I hated to see the season coming; so can understand you not welcoming the holidays with your sister.

And, of course, your therapist was on vacation. I find it curious they always seem to be gone when we could really use them, yes?

How are you doing now? Did you make it through the New Year without strangling anyone?

[MorticiaBlue]

I'm much better and more focused now. I applied for a part-time job to keep myself busy and to save up some money to move. Families are so challenging during the holidays and my anxiety just kicks into full throttle. Drama Drama. I feel as if I'm in the middle of a housewives of ( insert city here) episode and I hate reality shows. Thank you for asking. Hope your day went well. Peace and Blessings💚

[HearYou in reply to MorticiaBlue]

Yep, understand fully. Can't pick our families, but we can figure a way to pick where we live and if we see them in all their "princess" glory.

(If a woman is past 35 she ought to realize she's never going to be queen.....the "princess" is my husband's oldest daughter and your sister)

I'm ok. Have a good husband who has one decent adult child out of three. And he feels lucky. I became tired of being the collateral damage. We no longer wait around to see if any of them are going to decide to come to town for the holidays.

Get that job and save up for a cruise during the holidays next year.