I've been feeling this isolated for much longer than the pandemic

[Indiegal]

I realized a few days into my state's order to stay at home and away from people that my life really hadn't changed all that much sadly. I've been feeling this isolated and alone and depressed for a long time now, which made me feel even more hopeless.

Other than driving to work most days (I usually work from home once or twice a week anyway), I'm now walking upstairs to my office every day. Other than stopping at the grocery store or Target or somewhere a couple times a week, I've been to the grocery store once in three weeks. And other than going to a local bar once in awhile to hopefully strike up a conversation with stone stranger (which often makes me feel more lonely and desperate), I'm drinking several times a week by myself at home. But I don't feel a whole lot has changed in my life and don't feel too much different than usual and am feeling the same loneliness and depression as I have been. I guess this whole thing is a good metaphor for my life if I needed to explain it to someone else, but it's making me feel even more hopeless than ever.

Anyone else having the same feelings?

[Nerbs]

Hi! I've had times in my life where I felt like that (including feeling desperate for chatting up a stone faced stranger). I'm actually feeling really lonely now even though my partner is with me because we moved to a new place and being on lockdown is stirring up all of those same feelings. I've been imagining what I'm going to do after this. I found a yoga studio I want to go to and joined an online meditation group. Taking classes and volunteering is how I met friends the last time I was lonely. Hoping it works again.

[Indiegal in reply to Nerbs]

I guess you can still feel just as lonely with someone else. I like the idea of trying to think positively about what I'm going to do after all this. I used to be better at making friends with anyone I met but haven't yet found those groups where I fit and have actually made friends in the last couple years. Maybe I just need to think harder about my options.

[Agora1]

Indiegal, your post hits home with many on this forum including myself. After having been

agoraphobic for 5 years, this lockdown is no different than what we did to ourselves because of mental fear. Now it's a physical fear keeping the world inside. I've been fortunate in never having experience depression but did have intense anxiety fear.

During the time I was stuck in my home for the 5 years, I learned a new way of living.

I used it as a time to find peace within myself through meditation. As I lost friends as

well as family members who just couldn't understand, I got stronger and knew I had

to depend on myself. Within time, it was no longer an obstacle. I'm free of anxiety

because somewhere deep inside of me, I am whole being just who I am. xx

[Jumprope14 in reply to Agora1]

I've always wanted to reach out to you. I knew from your name "Agora" that you probably had suffered from agoraphobia. I did also. I was shut in for years because of my panic attacks. I truth is I never really had many panic attacks but I had my first one in my early 20's, and that set me on a path of "fear". I feel from reading about anxiety and learning about it, I also have read some of Dr Claire Weeks books (excellent) that I have come along way. However I still struggle with an anxious mind, depending what is going on in my life and can fall into that anxiousness again, any suggestions, because I consider you a pro, because you beat it.

[Indiegal in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. That is an interesting way to look at things from a perspective like yours who dealt with this for years. I've been fighting the loneliness for so long but I think you have a good point to just accept it and concentrate on working on myself.

[UFC80]

Sounds similar to me. I rarely leave the house and when i do i dodge people and stray from possible conversation! Pretty antisocial so nothings really changed for me. 😣

[Cantdealanymore]

I know exactly what you mean.

[Sabio77]

Indiegal , hi nice to meet you. I feel this isolation too. many feel this major adjustment. but in order for you, me , all of us to survive this unknown virus, we must recognize the negative thoughts/energies and turn it into positive Productive thought/energy. I am doing this myself and it works. when I notice crazy negative/alone thoughts/feelings I say "no, that's not true. I do not believe that. You have no control over me." this is called "self-talk". some people even call it "removing the evil/demon" from their minds. for it is true that "what we believe in matters". it is that thought that turns into a seed planted into our hearts and becomes an action of anxiety/depression/panic attacks. this is all what I have personally learned for myself. so I speak from truth/experience. Try focusing on your talents/gifts/hobbies that you can do while at home., inside/outside in the yard if possible. even try learning something new. Now is the time to think outside the box and be creative. hope this helps you. here if you want to talk more. hugs of encouragement. we are in this together.