Trying to accept the bad days with the good

[steph3467]

So I had a ton of stuff to get done today and ended up doing almost nothing except watching tv. The day started out so well, and then a few hours after waking my anxiety went through the roof and instead of going out and finishing christmas shopping etc. I sat around feeling like crap. I try not to get mad at myself, I try reframing and telling myself its okay to have a day to relax and do nothing, and I know these feelings will pass, but it just sucks! I work christmas and the day before christmas, and friday, so I am celebrating with my parents on saturday and I just wanted to get more done today. Any advice on how to deal with days like this? My therapist says I need to have more of a routine on my days off (i am a nurse so I work 3 12 hour shifts per week so I tend to have big blocks of time to myself on weekdays) I have been trying to keep to somewhat of a routine but when I am feeling bad its so hard to do. If anyone has any advice on how to deal with days like this please share I feel as though I have been doing the same things over and over and need a different approach

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

I worked the 3 12 hour shifts in ICU for years! I usually spaced mine out. When I didn’t though my first day off I rested and piddled around at home. The next day I ran errands while my son was at school. Then more errands. Time with son. Then rest up for 3 more 12 hour shifts. I had friends. Then I started feeling guilty about not spending time with my son so quit hanging with friends. They worked during the day. Night was for my son. Let me tell you that was not good. Now he’s 23. My husbands a drunk and I got no one. Make time for yourself. You can only do what you can do. I did not “structure” my days off though. I kept lists of things I had to do and as long as I got most of it checked off I was good. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You’re so right. We all need do nothing days. That’s me everyday now that I’m retired and children are grown. If I have doctors appt or something and I don’t cancel I may run by grocery store or post office etc. Do your errands but don’t forget to do some fun stuff too. Youth runs out. I haven’t even started shopping and was diagnosed with strep today and told not to go out for 72 hours. Sunday I work my meaningless job at the gas station I got just to get out of the house and beat the board him Sunday night from six to midnight. I think I might just skip it. You don’t have to get in all done in one day. Plan for tomorrow. It’s all good. You got this.

[steph3467 in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Yeah I usually space my shifts out a bit more but this is how it worked out with the holiday unfortunately. I actually am working in ICU now! I have been there for almost two years now. Sometimes my anxiety messes with my confidence but everything has been going well. It is so nice to hear from someone who had a similar career and schedule! Sometimes I feel like the only nurse that has these issues, I know that is just a generalization but its how it feels at times. I have a couple good friends at work, but I definitely wish I was more social and confident. On the days I feel really bad I def keep to myself more at work and just get through the day.

[fauxartist]

I was so obsessed with doing everything perfect, that an underlying fear of not being able to do everything perfect eventually struck such fear in me, I became paralyzed. I couldn't get myself up to do anything. I was guilt ridden and panic stricken that all hell was going to reign down on me because I took the day off for no good reason.

Before this started happening to me, because of my self worth issues, I felt I had to do more and more everyday, I became an overachiever in my work, play, everything. I had to do everything on my daily list and do it the best I could. I was worn out as the years went by. One day my therapist said to me, why isn't it okay to just do less? What would happen if you did what you were comfortable with and not worry about the rest, you could be happy with what you did do was enough for the day.. And some days it's okay to do nothing, take a break...your worth it.

[steph3467 in reply to fauxartist]

I also have this feeling that I need to do everything perfect and finish everything on my list which is pretty much impossible! And then I feel bad about not finishing everything. I have been working on letting myself relax more so im still a work in progress! Today I actually went out and got some of the stuff done and now im relaxing for a bit Thanks for your words of encouragement!

[Sprinkle1]

Hello, I am not a nurse, but have worked long hours when I was a care giver. Thankfully I only had to deal with depression. Now I am older and retired, but struggle with depression and anxiety- anxiety I have not had to deal with before. It is awful, I call it a trip into hell, I do everything I can for myself, like treating myself like a sick 4 year old who needs her Mum. I have told my cats I am ill, I live by myself so get horribly alone, and the anxiety loads me up with fear. I have no friends here, but thankfully 2 friends in Calif give me fantastic support. I tell myself I am doing the best I can, I don't like it staying in bed til 1 p.m. but then who cares and what matters? I take all my med's and keep hoping for them to get to work on my amigdela that is the part of our brain that is letting us down. I confront it, and tell it I do not like it letting me down. My Dr. has been increasing my med's Pristiq up to 300 mg, starting this week, I am also on Busbar, Gabapentin and Lorazepam. I thin I have finally cracked the door open, the depression does not seem so bad and the anxiety is milder. My point is Do Not Give Up. Talk to your Dr. about med's. Perhaps you need a change, ask your Dr. to test you with Genesense, my Dr. did that wit me in Oct, then put me on Pristiq, it seems to be working. I'll keep you posted, do not beat yourself up, we are in an awful place, but it can change. I wish you well, do not try to please too many people, I hate Christmas, due to a lot of circumstances, so make the best out of it for yourself, not for others. I send your love, success and much happiness, and peace. Sprinkle 1 Big Hugs xxx