What to Choose??

[Naus]

Please friends help me to choose the right person in my life .( pareNTS or Bf)

I love my parents n siblings alot i can do anything for their happiness.. i can sacrifice my happiness for my mom n dad..

I m in a relationship with a boy we love each other but now i think that he is not right person for me cus he always show anger to me shout at me.. anytime without any reason .. he even shout at hus parents when he becme angry i m really afraid of him now he used to fight in roads with anyone... (before he was not like that but now he has some friends who fight n do all thus and along with them he do the same)..

What should i do should i leave me(when it comes to my mind to leave him its sound lyk m selfish m i please tell).. for all this behavior i don't think so my parents will allow me to marry him..

Dts y m so confuse will i leave him n go with my parents chose or will i have to marry him...

[Cat_cat44]

Hi Naus, please leave him. U don't deserve anyone shouting, being angry, or hurting you. Yes it's easier said than done and believe me I've been there. U definitely don't want to marry someone like that. U wouldn't want him to treat your children like that. Nobody is perfect we all make mistakes so don't b hard on yourself. It's not your fault, you sound like a wonderful person. You deserve love. How old are you? You have a lifetime of happiness, find what makes u happy❤️❤️

[Naus in reply to Cat_cat44]

Dear ,I m 19years old ..

He even cheat on me many times... n everytym shout at me without any reason he is very short temper person...

If i ever tell that i want breakup he just shout n blackmail me*(i mean just want me that he will come to my house n etc etc)

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Naus]

I'm so sorry you're goin through this. How would he blackmail you? Have you told your parents? What did they say? You may have to get a restraining order against him. Don't worry about what anyone thinks about that, your safety is number 1.

[Naus in reply to Cat_cat44]

He everytym told me if i leave him he will fight with my brother n my cousin brother .. n even if i marry someone he will not allow me to marry anyone...

No,, i have never share anything with my parents m just afraid of all this .. if they were hurt...

[HearYou]

Hello! Well, one rarely HAS to marry anyone. You can love someone, but that doesn't necessarily mean marriage. I sense you already know the better answer for your well-being. If not.maybe you have not matured enough to marry anyone right now. You sound young, give yourself time. Abusive behavior and anger control issues do not bode well for any relationship.

If you actually WANT my opinion, either run for the hills and don't look back for him, or just lock the door behind you so he can't get in.

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

Thank You so much ##Hear YOU..

I m 19years old i have exam just aftr 2months but can't study can't do anything .. just depression like lying n thinking..

I just think that aftr i leave him if the next person is same lyk him den just one option i have sucide...

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Naus]

No honey the next won't be the same because now you know what signs to look for. The moment you're being treated badly, you will know he's not the right one. He will come. You're only 19. Concentrate on your schooling, do you have close friends? Hang out with them. I wish I could go back to 19!! lol I'm 38. Messed up playing with college, married the wrong man, and now at a terrible stage in my life. At 38 I have to finish college, and work full time while taking care of my 9 y/o. And I'm not working bc of a lot of circumstances. Hopefully I will soon. If I could go back to 19 I would have my PHD by now. And please don't commit suicide, we are here for u. We all have wanted to one time or another, me too. Talk to us instead and if you have a doc please see them to speak to about this. Love & life❤️❤️

[Naus in reply to Cat_cat44]

Thank you so much.. for giving me such a advice which is helping me alot...

By this year ,, i will try my best to start a new lyf...

Actually,, i want to study but when i sit for study i just think about all thse stupid this n can't concentrate in my study...

Now.. m just afraid of him of his behavior n anger n all that...

Once again thank you so much WHERE IS NORMAL❤❤❤..

Take care of yourself too

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Naus]

No prob Naus, we are all hear and hurting from the same things. I know exactly how it feels to try and study but u can't bc you can't get the man off your mind; it caused me to fail my whole semesters a couple of times til I got control, which I'm still working on. I decided not to pressure myself about the new year just taking it one day at a time. Again I'm sorry u are afraid of him and his behavior. If you can please get a restraining order against him or get someone to shake him up...lol wait bad advice, don't want u to go to jail. But I bet he wouldn't talk to a man like that. Please tell your parents to protect you. Thanks too for your support and talking to me! Night night!

[HearYou in reply to Naus]

Let's rethink this. There is no reason there even HAS to be another man, but probably will. I agree with "Where_is_Normal" that you need to concentrate on yourself, your education and be able to support and take care of yourself. Every woman should be able to do that, and not feel she must have a man to be complete and succeed in life. In this era, we have the freedom to choose a partner who respects and loves us, not have to settle on a poor choice just to have a partner.

When you say goodbye to this man, please be certain you have a safe place to live for awhile. He may become angry and violent.

Take good care of YOURSELF.xx

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

I wanted to study but can't concentrate in my sit...

Cus of this stupid thinking.. THANK YOU SO MUCH**#HEAR YOU..

[Hidden]

By the sounds of it..I would choose my parents. But you don't want to..you like all this that's happening with your boyfriend..you know what's right or wrong..this has been going on for a while, why can't you make up your mind?..stop blaming him..it's you..and its very stupid to think about suicide over this..learn to take control of your life..

[HearYou in reply to Hidden]

I don't think she is stupid at all. I feel she's in a situation where she needs help getting out of. This is an aggressive man who can very well harm her, and she feels trapped. There are married women in similar situations who feel the same way.

Getting help for her depression and getting safely away from this man is going to require support. That where we can help.

Naus, do you have a doctor or can get one to help you with your depression and saying goodbye to this man?

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

Yes#HEAR YOU.. I need support help thats why i have post this ..

There is no one in my life to understand n help me or no one whom i can share cus i don't trust or think anyone will help me instead they will hate❤❤..You people are helping me alot THANK YOU SO MUCH...

PLEASE HELP ME THIS WAY

[Hidden in reply to Naus]

You said who to choose, your parents or him..If you were to give me one answer, who would it be? Secondly, you said you think that he is not the right person for you.., thirdly, yes it is you..because you are calling the shots..Im not saying it's your fault for him behaving like this..it's you that's going to live with him and by what we are seeing, I can only advise you to choose wisely because love is blind..

[Naus in reply to Hidden]

You are not understand my problem so please. Thnx ...for the advice Ellinaki..

You told me its my fault really..

[HearYou in reply to Naus]

Afraid she's right about that. Your wording was a bit strong.

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

Hmmm.. a bit strong 👍

[HearYou in reply to Naus]

OK, there always someone here somewhere around the world to talk to.

[Naus in reply to Hidden]

ELLINAKI# --What did I have done ??Why are you blaming me??

Is it my fault to love someone or trust someone.., he is my first love i have never try for 2nd one.. is it my fault??

He is behaving badly is it my fault .. so wats my mistake here##ellinaki

[HearYou in reply to Naus]

Whoah, No, No No,....no blaming here on either one. This is a good venue to learn why and how there can be a difference in thinking about a situation.

Some people are strong enough to charge in and just settle things point blank, and cannot understand how someone could have been sucked into a relationship like yours.

ELLINAKI# has told us he is a man in one of his posts and I think sometimes men can't imagine a woman could be in your situation. This not a sexist comment; it's what I have experienced as men often have been raised to be MEN and take charge, where women have unfortunately have been expected to be less assertive.

The one thing I do agree with is there no excuse for verbal or physical violence by anyone.

The second thing I agree with, it takes guts, courage, decisiveness and protection from harm to stop the verbal or physical violence.

So we're here. Tell us what you are going to do and how can we help.

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

Dear,HEAR YOU..

NOW I HAVE Decide to leave him .. i will do breakup n i will forgt my past.. i will start a new lyf..

But m just afraid how to tell him that i want breakup if i tell him then he will tel that you want breakup cuz ur parents chose somebdy else for You.. etc etc etc...

[Hidden in reply to Naus]

I think you mis understood..good luck in 2018

[Naus in reply to Hidden]

Thx

[HearYou in reply to Naus]

Naus, are you in an arranged marriage promise by your parents or his parents?

[HearYou in reply to Naus]

So why are you bothered about what he says?

Just write a letter to him instead. If he comes around to argue, etc., make certain you have a safe place to go.

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

Okay .. i will try

[Susan512]

Hi Naus, you need to let your boyfriend go even if you love him, I'm scared for you and your family and he continue to bother you get a restraining order! Sometimes even if we love someone and your not being treated right you need to let him go. You deserve someone that will love and respect you please be good to yourself. And pray to GOD and be patient he will bless you, he knows your heart and he LOVES YOU and I do too.

[Naus in reply to Susan512]

Thank You so much..

You understand my problem ...

Firstly,,I m in so much terrible that i can't explan you.. if I'm with him m not happy in my lyf only i can make him happi to stay in his lyf but i m not happy..

Secondly,, if i leave him den i will becme happy but he will make my life hell ...

😭😭😭 m fdeup in my Life..😢

[Susan512 in reply to Naus]

DO NOT EVEN THINK THAT HE WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE MISSERABLE. YOU ARE IN CONTROL BE STRONG! LET YOUR FAMILY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. MAYBE IF YOU HAVE A FAMILY IN ANOTHER CITY OR STATE THAT ARE WILLING TO LET YOU STAY WITH THEM AND GO TO SCHOOL THAT WOULD BE GREAT. DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE . GOD IS IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE NOT THAT ABUSIVE PHYSCHO BOYFRIEND OF YOURS

[Naus in reply to Susan512]

Thank You..

He makes my life like m alive but dead inside just sleeping alone n crying..

[Lostjoy in reply to Naus]

You are not responsible for his happiness. Put yourself first and walk away. It won’t be easy at first, but it will get easier in time. Change is always hard.

I agree with hear you that sometimes women feel stuck especially if you are scared of him. I have 2 sisters who were in very bad relationships. They stayed for years because men like this have a way of manipulating you into thinking everything is your fault, and you can’t and won’t make it without him. That’s not true, and once you can get your mind to believe in yourself then you can accomplish great things.

[Naus in reply to Lostjoy]

Thx # Lostjoy..

[Naus in reply to Lostjoy]

Things are so different in my lyf that i can't share with anyone.. lyk he made my life hell even today i told him that please leave me u killed me inside he said--- OK DO WHATEVER YOU WANT I WILL DO MY WORK MYSELF DON'T BLAME ME AFTER THAT.. his reply

[Cat_cat44 in reply to Naus]

Good for you for standing your ground!! And that line he said please report to the police because that sounds like a threat. You're 19 you don't even have to tell your parents when u go but by all means go! You are a victim too you deserve comforting! We're all cheering you on!!❤️❤️

[Naus in reply to Cat_cat44]

Thank you so much..

Finally i told him for breakup lets see now what can he do i really don't care...

I m very strOng now ...

[Karmakat]

Marry him???? Good Lord noooooo...please sltay away from him, he has anger issues, this is his problem to deal with not yours. I was with a man who was the same, and he even went through anger managment counselling, which did not help, they must want to change. If he doesnt see he has a problem or recognizes it, leave him, doesnt matter you love him ...you are young and there are many good men out there...do not take any of his crap!! Stay strong and stand up for yourself. You sound like you may be insecure and addicted to him...yes women can become addicted to men like this...he may be fun, charming, loving when he wants...but if he doesnt stop his behavious...walk away..now...choose your parents by far!!

[Naus in reply to Karmakat]

Thanx #Karmakat..

Yea he is using me of my love.. now i m strong enough to fight with everything.. for my parents.. Its My life my hapines why should i leave everything for someone who doesn't Care Abou me...

[Naus]

THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE.

FOR THE LOVE SUPPORT N ADVISE,,ALL YOUR ADVISE HELP ME ALOT N MAKE ME A STRONG GIRL TODAY..

[Naus]

Hey hey Guys....

Today he send me a text DO YOU WANT TO CONTINUE OR WHAT ??

YES OR NO.

I said -- Directly without any fear 'NO'..

[Agora1 in reply to Naus]

Hey Hey Naus... You did it, it's your life again xx

[Naus in reply to Agora1]

YeA.. my New LIFE Again...😊

[HearYou]

Ok Naus, now be careful and protect yourself from him. He may be thinking over you leaving and contact you. Be prepared to stand up again and say no, but do it in a public place and have the police emergency number with you on your phone. Take very good care of yourself and keep in touch.xx

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

Yeah.. he called me yesterday also but i ignore him ...

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

Thank You so much #HEAR YOU for ur advse LOVE n SUPPORT helped me alot....

Take care of yourself❤❤

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

I will be in touch... If he does anything with me please help me n advse me...

[HearYou]

Good. Keep your promise to yourself to take care of YOU, not HIM, xx

[Naus in reply to HearYou]

Yeah.. Now, i don't care about someone who doesn't value me..

I m just taking care of myself...

[Hidden]

You don't have to choose between either one of them. I'm referring to your family or your boyfriend because they both have different roles. He doesn't sound like a good prospect to me and I've been through some of these things too like many people here are telling you. It's your decision, of course.

[Naus in reply to Hidden]

So whom did i chose for ur opin dear #puffcat

[Isaack]

Leave him. Your family important and they love you.

[Naus in reply to Isaack]

Thx isaack😊...