I lost a friend today. She was beautiful, and always so kind to me. She overdosed on heroin, and I am so sad. Not only for her, but for the other friends I have lost, friends other people have lost; and sorry for all of the people who loved them. Every time sometimes dies at the hands of drugs I am enraged, angry, blood boiling mad. Not at the people who use, they are the ones who have fallen victim to these tainted substances that sneak their way into your skin and quickly your soul; but angry with the suppliers. As an ex-user, this is quite contradicting. I never blamed them, it wasn't "their fault, they never made people use". But now, being on the other end of things loving a user and trying to stop it, i HATE them. And this rage is consuming me. I am so angry over the anxiety that fills me everyday in the fear I will come home to my boyfriend dead, (for the second time, thank god for narcan). I just am at my wits end, wishing I could make a change and fix this world wide ridiculously over sized problem. The same problem that I fight against everyday, from consuming me too.