Saddness

[Whyamisosad]

Sad, depressed, anxiety, loneliness. Never had healthy relationships where I felt loved. A man 20 years younger pursued me for almost a year. We became good friends at work and talked all the time. Recently he asked if he could call me. Talked and would text everyday for a month before he kissed me. We really fell hard for each other. I sabotaged the relationship always talking negative about myself and the age difference. Now I am SO hurt with consuming thoughts about him. I cant stop analyzing everything. It is affecting my emotions and everyday life.

[UnderstandingMyPain]

It’s hard dealing with so many emotions at once. Based on what you shared, maybe you can have a talk with him and explain what you did and why you did it. There could be a possibility that he may understand and want to continue to have something with you and if he doesn’t at least you know when the going gets tough he is unable to handle it, people come into our lives for a reason to teach us daily. This could be the stepping stone of healing. Learning to communicate in relationships. Having a genuine conversation and being okay with what is said.

[Whyamisosad in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

OMG! My first reply and so encouraging! I did text him and told him with all my negativity about myself I can understand why he totally ignored me at work and if he doesn’t get back to me I will understand. Text came back immediately saying we will talk the next day at work. Waited and he never approached me. Finally went up him. Feeling angry by then knowing that he had NO intention of talking it did not go well. Said he reconsidered and we could be friends. With the anger I felt I told him I didn’t think that could happen. Haven’t heard from him or seen him since he had off work this weekend. He was very cold towards me. I see him tomorrow and will say hi but I am so sad. I feel there was no closer for me. I also believe he came into my life for a reason. He was my inspiration! I had no idea why for many many months he was always talking to me. Even a hug every so often. He was the first man who EVER pursued me and I didn’t see his intention coming. Like I said I feel there is no closure for me. Thanks 🙏 so much for responding

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Whyamisosad]

I’m sorry to hear it didn’t go how you might of thought it would go. I would give yourself some distance for now. Of course keep things cordial especially since he is a co worker. Maybe for now not approaching him about “what happened”

[UnderstandingMyPain in reply to Whyamisosad]

You’re very welcome! Your not alone on this site at all ☺️ welcome!!!!

[Whyamisosad in reply to UnderstandingMyPain]

New to this, so encouraging! I agree with your response. I will keep my distance as difficult as it will be. Thanks for the welcome!

[YouareBeloved99 in reply to Whyamisosad]

That's so hard when you fall for someone and you want it to work out so badly and it just doesn't. You mentioned that you haven't had had that in a while and I wonder if that longing may have intensified the feelings because someone wanted to be with you. I've been guilty of that myself. It's like I loved the feeling of someone desiring me so badly that I was willing to overlook other things.

In the end, although it has been really difficult and heartbreaking, it's possible that you are being spared from a much more difficult heartbreak. I married mine and if I could go back in time, I would have cut it off a lot earlier rather than having to go through the abuse I eventually endured.

Don't settle for less than what you deserve. There is someone out there who will love you for who you are. While you're waiting, perhaps it would be a good time to focus on finding peace and contentment for yourself. I don't know if you are a person of faith for not, but I have found that the more I have prayed and sought God, the more peace and contentment have come to me as a result.

[Whyamisosad in reply to YouareBeloved99]

I totally agree in the power of prayer 🙏 thanks for your input-very encouraging. We both agreed to remain friends. Problem being we work together and every time I see him or talk to him, my heart melts!! Can’t stop thinking about how things could of been! We both agree that the age difference is too much. I agree the attention was awesome but never thought at the time what his intentions were. Totally caught me off guard the first time he kissed me. You are correct in that I was vulnerable as I have never been pursued for that length of time. Our friendship is good but I am so lost. Hadn’t realized how lonely I really must be. I NEED to stop thinking about him! THANKS SO much for input. It helps!! But still 😢

[YouareBeloved99 in reply to Whyamisosad]

Yeah, having to see him every day must be tough. But you can do this. I am praying for strength and comfort for you and healing for your heart. This is one short chapter in a much longer book.

[Whyamisosad in reply to YouareBeloved99]

Thank you so much for the support and words of encouragement. Knowing someone cares sure helps!

[LordKnowsImTrying]

Work on loving yourself to the point where you think people are crazy for NOT wanting you. You will attract all kinds of love that waty🥰

[BrokenWings83]

Thank you for sharing your story. After I posted for the first time recently, now I know it can be so hard to tell your story. It must be so hard on you dwelling upon the past and what could have been. But as UnderstandingMyPain has said above reach out to him if you feel that is something you can comfortably do. And at least get some closure. If that chapter is closed you can focus on healing and getting over it. Best of luck !

[Whyamisosad]

Thank you brokenwings83 for reading my story. I am still healing and trying SO hard to not dwell on my past (ruminating) has been a huge issue lately. Like you and many others there is so much more to share!

[Hidden]

Welcome to the site and sending healing hugs 🤗

[Whyamisosad in reply to Hidden]

Thanks SO much for your support. It means so much!

[Hidden in reply to Whyamisosad]

Aw your so welcome. U sound such a caring sweet soul. I’m sorry your hurting. Here ... catch this hug 🤗 right I better sleep for a few hours. Would u believe I’m in Uk and haven’t slept at all yet. I don’t do myself any favours 🙄😂❤️ nn

[Whyamisosad in reply to Hidden]

Caught your hug- sure felt good!! Goodnight 😴