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Anxiety and Depression Support
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Should I leave my boyfriend?

Hello I'm so torn about my boyfriend. We argue so much because I can't get passed the lies and betrayal. My grandma passed away this March and I was left her home. My boyfriend and I are currently living together, and it is hard to break up with someone you are living with. I'm 28 years old and he is 25. At one point he was my knight in shining armor and now he is a liar to me. I feel so bad for him because his anxiety is ruining his life. He has REALLY BAD anxiety and it has damaged our relationship a lot because of his thoughts. I forgave him a thousand times but he still does things he should not do (message random girls online) and then blames it on his anxiety. He says he does it because he knows I don't love him anymore because all the times he messed up. He also says he sometimes don't remember when he does this because the Xanax he takes. He abuses Xanax and he turns into a different person and he does do things he don't remember the next day but I'm not sure if that is a good enough excuse to message random girls. I love him so much and want to help him get better but I feel so DUMB to stay with him after I seen messages. (These message go absolutely no where they are very short and then he will stop completely messaging and then move on to a different inbox and do the same thing over again.) I'm so torn because 1. he is doing this stupid crap and 2. the message are random and empty. Should I leave him for this? Should we work on it? We have no kids by the way. Also, I have gotten really depressed since my grandma passed and my boyfriend turned into a bad boy. Any advice for a confused girl?

3 Replies

Hi, one thing is for sure you never should feel sorry about anything you feel! But as far as knowing when to leave and when to stay the way that I make a clear choice is by asking myself am I willing to live the rest of my life in this situation and if I can I stay but if I can't then I stand up and walk away... Your life your happiness besides if you're anything like me I'm depressed enough without anyone else helping.

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I am so sorry for the loss of your Grandmother, that is so difficult and not having proper support at home must make it a lot harder. I like to think your Grandmother is in a beautiful place watching over you<3 OH MY GOD seriously though....this is my life. Just posted a similar thread, bf is 26 and has a different drug of choice but he uses xanax as well. I myself, am a recovered opiate and benzo addict. (2 years 2 months) It truly is draining, to love someone while they are help captive by the hands of addiction. Seeing them put the drugs first, (and lie to you to use them) is heartbreaking, and every other negative emotion in the book. Addiction is a disease, your man is in there somewhere. Are you familiar with any of your NA/AA/Al-Anon groups in your area? They offer great support for addicts, alcoholics, and Al-Anon offers support for the family members of those who love an addict or alcoholic. However, in the mean time, my heart goes out to you girls. Stay strong and listen to your heart, do what you think is right. XOX


I'm going to be blunt with you. Your boyfriend sounds like a liar and a cheat. Text messaging other girls is not okay when you're living with someone, and it is not a side effect of Xanax.

Only you know what you want for your life. If it's a guy with a drug addiction who's dependent on you and dishonest, that is your choice and no one here will judge you for it, including me.

I think you can do a lot better, though. A lot better.

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