Why are they back??

I thought everything was going great. I have a great job doing what I love. I teach fitness which I love. I’m with my son and away from abusive relationship (sort of). So why are these feelings of nothingness, worthless and hatred back. Suicide thoughts aren’t back fully like they were YET. But I do still think about how easy it is to pop pills or drink or anything to numb these thoughts and Aches. I’m done asking for help it’s nothing if my mind won’t allow me to accept it in. I feel like a failure and maybe this is how I go in life

[Justswimming]

No the only failure is not trying. Please talk to Dr about meds ..its great you love your job the sort of scares me but you are going to need therapy. Give yourself a chance..not easy but doable.

[Lisacpa]

You said you were “sort of” away from abusive relationship...I hope you will ask for help and REALLY end that cycle. You probably have PTSD. It’s night time. Things always seem much worse at night. Those crappy feelings are stubborn, too. You are still learning how to change your thinking so be kind to yourself. I’m saying all this stuff as if I’m a pro; I’m not, but I know that I do this...maybe you do the same things. Don’t stop asking for help. Think about when your son was tiny. He fell when learning to walk, but you never thought he wouldn’t learn how. It takes time to learn new ways of thinking & behaving, just like babies need time & repetition to master stuff. I hope you’ll feel better in the morning. 🌞

[blackcat64013]

I agree with Justswimming,

Therapy is one of the best ways to deal with our thoughts.

Thoughts, good or bad often sneak in the back door when they think we are have room for them. The only thing to do is accept they are there as a temporary visitor, then show them the way out.

Acceptance = acknowledging the thought without judgement, without trying to change it, making space for it and letting it run it's course naturally.

Acceptance doesn't mean giving in or giving up or putting up with the psychological suffering. What it means is stopping the fight with unpleasant emotions when they are serving a purpose.

Mindfulness meditation is one way you can practice accepting difficult emotions

A good resource is mindfulness.org.au/