Why

[kv3011]

I finally went out for the first time since March (besides nature walks and grocery shopping). I went out to dinner with two of my friends. I dressed up real cute to feel good about myself and I had an amazing night! We were laughing and blasting music in the car. Even made a funny tiktok. But now I’m sitting alone on my couch depressed af. Like that was a drug and now I’m crashing from my high. Why?? Why can’t I stay happy? Why can’t I be ok and be happy alone? I had such a great night and I’m ruining it. I’m not meaning to self sabotage myself but that is what it seems like I’m doing. I know it’s happening and I can feel it so I’m trying so hard to reverse my thoughts but there are no negative thoughts that are making me upset. So it’s not like I can even counter those thoughts with positive thoughts. I don’t know why I’m feeling depressed I just have this depressed feeling. I’m not thinking about anything I’m just sitting here alone moping about nothing. It’s very frustrating. I hate feeling like this. This is not who I am.

[Hidden]

Sounds fun!

[Simple05]

I feel you. It can be hard because it sometimes seems like our own mind is against us. Like it is it’s own person with whom we are constantly in battle with. We want to be happy but just can’t get there. It can be exhausting. That is what it is like for me at least, and from your post it seems like you are going through similar situation.

[Sprinkle1]

I think I understand, I have been house bound since March, I only go out to grocery shop, it was getting to me, I had a long talk with my therapist yesterday. I told her I feel isolated, she agreed with me, I am by myself, 78 no family near by, my friend died last Aug, my volunteer work was brought to a stop by the virus, the Book Club ended, I have a mean neighbor on one side who has caused me grief, I had to report him to management a few times!!! My other neighbor had a falling out with me, he lost his wife early this year, I took some mail to him that was in my box, I asked how he was doing, he told me he has lung cancer, one of his sons was coming down from New Jersey to help him, we live in SC. His son was nice to me and offered to help me. I used to go to my therapists office, that was nice, but now we do phone talk. Some days I talk to no one, my friends are spread about, one in Calif. is dying. One is fighting health problems, her husband too, we email and chat once in a while. I have a friend in Arkansas, our contact is sporadic. I moved here 14 years ago from Calif, I find it is not easy to make new friends when one is older, I had another friend here, but he and his wife moved back to Baltimore to be near their children, now he is suffering with cancer and his wife is diabetic. Life can get quiet challenging at times. I do my best to stay busy doing things I like. Yes sounds like you are coming down from a lovely evening, as long as you do not contact with the COV19 virus, plan on getting together again soon . Bear in mind that All things change, once we get control of the virus life will hopefully go back to the way we used to live. . Be kind to yourself , dig into your patience and know this Will End. Write to us, we will offer support, understanding, love and peace. A fellow isolated, doing my best to go with the flow. I send you love and big hugs........

[dance77]

I just wrote a fairly long response and now it doesn’t seem to be here. Or is it? Maybe I just cannot see it? If you want, kv3011, let me know and I will try again. Thinking of you warmly

[Hidden]

How are you feeling? I hope you’re feeling a bit better x

[Laurennnnnnn]

I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way! I get that way often and unfortunately don’t have any advice, but I wanted to tell you how well you worded that. I feel like that a lot and have never been able to explain it so well. I hope you feel better soon! 💙