Meds and suicidal thoughts

[Jonimo]

Recently went thru 3 weeks of hospitalizations related to depression and suicidal thoughts/actions. Aware I was losing the mental war to the pervasive suicidal thoughts, I checked myself into a behavioral health hospital. While there I was relieved of the stress to keep myself safe - which helped. But I was released before I felt able to stay safe on my own. I promptly acted upon a suicide plan, which landed me in the ER and several days of unconsciousness in the hospital. I awoke covered with scratches and bruises and a concussion. No idea what had really happened to me. After a social worker visited to explain I would be placed on a 72 hour hold, I promptly dressed and walked out of the hospital. If 6 days in a good psyche hospital didn’t help, the county lock up would only make matters worse.

In the meantime I’d been off all meds so chose to stay off - suicidal thoughts were side effects of several. It’s been a week since I walk ed out of the hospital and feel clearer minded than I have in many months or even years. No longer battling thoughts of harming myself! I’m convinced the meds were a major factor in this battle and sure wish one of my docs had considered this possibility.

Has anyone else found the meds (both antidepressants and pain meds) contributed to suicidal thoughts and actions?

[Agora1]

Hi Jonimo, I never had suicidal thoughts but I do know that once I was off my 30 years of benzos, I was relieved of my anxiety. For me it was the antianxiety meds causing me to stay in that state of fear. So I can believe for you it was/is your antidepressants that cause you continued grief. I'm so happy for you and glad you figured out the cause of your problem. Stay safe. Continued success xx

[Sprinkle1]

Sorry you had to go thru this hell, and were your own doctor, yes I know the meds can cause suicidal thoughts, I went thru that and tried to kill myself, it was an antidepressant my allergist put me, without telling me. I managed for some time without anything, then the depression came, my doctor wanted to put me on Prozac, I was frightened, but I was also afraid of the depression. So tried it, it worked, served me well for 10 years until I built up a tolerance, by then I had found a psychiatrist, he put me on Zoloft and Lithium as he diagnosed me as Bi-polar 11. I did well for 10 years and then tolerance thing happened again. Now I am in trouble as the meds I have been trying have made me ill. My Dr. wanted to run a test on me, by Genesight, it tests for antidepressants that are suitable for our body, a swab is taken from your cheek inside your mouth and sent to a lab, they send results with recommendation for the antidepressant suitable for your body. Mine came back recommending Pristiq, so I am on that now, no bad side effects, just waiting for it to ramp up to full force. Have you considered finding a Psychiatrist who specializes in depression and medicine? You should not be suffering the way you are. I would also look for a support group. Call the Suicide Hot Line and see if they can recommend a group in your area. Search the web. Do everything you can for yourself. Books at the library may be of help. I am So sorry for the suffering you have gone thru and it needs to be stopped. Talk to us here, we will support you. I send you Love, hope and Peace. Sprinkle 1

[Jonimo in reply to Sprinkle1]

My psychiatrist also did the Genesight test - made clear why so many antidepressants didn’t work well for me . Was doing much better on Wellbutrin then the bottom fell out (again). She and inpatient shrink only looked at changed circumstances in my life - despite my awareness of sliding into the black hole prior to circumstance changes. Wish they could accept patient insight as far more relevant and telling than their own opinions much of the time. Thanks for your understanding and suggestions.

[Sprinkle1]

Yes that is one thing I hate about the medical people, too often they get caught up with their own opinions. And as you know it makes it that much harder for us. Thankfully my Dr. is very good, and I have a psych Dr, who has been ill for sometime now, I cannot hardly wait for her to get back to work. But they and their expectations do not do us any good, they need to listen to us, that is what they are getting paid for. One day when my Psych Dr. interrupted me I said, "Let me finish". I do not have the Psychiatrist I had as I moved from Calif. to S.C. the mental health help is not very good here. I just took a Lorazepam as the anxiety is really bad today. But I am going to start a support group today, I need social support. Take all good care of yourself and look for quality help. I see you have a cat, I have 2 and one is so loving and caring. We love you, come and talk to us, We will try to help you. Peace & Love Sprinkle 1

[Jonimo in reply to Sprinkle1]

You already have helped. Wish I’d found this site long ago. Lots of caring and compassionate company for this bumpy ride we’re on 🤪