Any parents out there dealing with a teenager refusing to do homework and go to school?

[Anonymous222]

It is so frustrating and draining to see my bright 14 year old son, be so debilitated with anxiety and depression. I know he is struggling but I feel hopeless. All he wants to do is play with his cell phone ebecause he say sit takes his mind off of whatever it is he is feeling. I am currently looking for a CBT therapist since that’s what I am reading is effective. I don’t know what else to do. He keeps asking for a pill to get better and doesn’t want to put in the work. I would really appreciate any feedback and advice.

[Agora1]

Anonymous222, I wish I had an answer for you. My advice is to give him the medication he wants, it might be what he needs to put in the work in going forward. My daughter at 14 went to school for 6 months and then refused to get out of bed for the next 3 1/2 years. It was the most incredible, frustrating and stressful time of my life. She refused any therapy, so I would talk with the therapist when she came to the house. She refused all medications. I even called the Truant Officer who came to the home and said they couldn't do anything because she wasn't misbehaving. It was unbelievable. There was no prom, no graduation. She ended up having to get a GED at 18y.o.

I will support you any way I can. I may not have the answers for your son but know that I realize what it is doing to you. I wish both you and your son my best. Do anything and everything you can that he will accept. Hopefully you will be able to reverse what is going on for him early.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I care xx

[Anonymous222 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate it!

[blackcat64013]

Sorry to hear of your difficulties - have you thought about contacting the school to enquire about the Student Assistance Program (SAP).

The SAP is designed to assist students, families and schools in our partner districts to manage the impact that a wide variety of personal and family problems can have on student behavior and achievement. Many issues can negatively impact a student including those related to family conflict, emotional or mental health problems, limited parenting skills, substance abuse, bullying and other peer conflict. Services provided include telephone consultation, in-person sessions and referrals to community resources, if needed.

The SAP is there to help you and your immediate family members deal with concerns in your life — by finding solutions. The SAP is usually available to you 24 hours a day, seven days a week and is strictly confidential.

When to Call the SAP

You can count on the SAP for guidance and support. Call the SAP for issues that interfere with your daily activities, happiness, family stability or overall wellbeing. Some of the topics a SAP counselor can help you with are:

•School performance

•Stress

•Confusion

•Trouble with peers

•Alcohol and other drug problems

•Eating disorders

•Problem gambling concerns

•Dating and relationship issues

•Conflict, bullying or violence

•Depression or suicidal thoughts

•Family concerns

Who will know I used the SAP?

Confidentiality is important to the provider. Within legal limits, no one will be given any information about your visit without your permission.

Do I have to pay to use the SAP?

No, you can use the SAP for free. You’ll receive counseling sessions and 24/7 telephone assistance at no cost to you. If additional resources are needed, the counselor works to ensure referrals are appropriate, beneficial and affordable.

If you are in the USA, to find out if your school district participates in a SAP run by the organization EFR call 515.244.6090.

Additional resources related to SAP are available on their link to their National Resources page

efr.org/student-assistance-...

[Anonymous222 in reply to blackcat64013]

Thank you, unfortunately my son is in private school and they don't have any programs such as SAP. But I will call them independently to get some information, you never know.

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What do you mean by 'whatever he is feeling?' Do you not know what he is feeling? Have you asked him how he is feeling and what makes him feel that way? What do you know about his struggles since you have diagnosed him with anxiety and depression?.. Why Do you feel frustrated and drained?...i don't have kids and yes he's a teenager but if I did I would turn this world upside down to make sure my kid is alright and pls dont drug the kid with any meds..whats family life like...his school life...social life...find out anything and everything slowly.. and then put the pieces together to find out what this 'whatever' is..