Do i want to be happy?

Hello !

I am new here .English isn t my first language so please excuse my grammar mistakes. I don t know if i have as extream problems as the others here.But i did suffer of deppression for a long period in higschool.Never treated but overcoming it with forgivenes and a bit more compassion for my self.I am actualy 2 months pregnant and married.I am happy but at the same time i am thinking why didn t i study more why dose this has to be a motivation.I am 25 so i worcked less then i should have ,the chanses are litle in a small town . But now i feel so overwhelmed because i know i won t do a thing to do better. I don t know if i ll try to do better this is making me get more and more cold and social depraved. And everytime i have to go to the doctor my heart rate starts to beat fast and get so scared to enter.