It´s been a long time...

[wallflower1108]

It has been awhile since I have been on here or posted anything. So I am just going to tell you some of the stuff that has been happening lately. Well I have been doing somewhat good, the last breakdown I had was 4 weeks ago and I know there was a reason I just can´t remember what is was. One of my friends is in a Mental Hospital and I don´t even know why he is in there. For the last 2 weeks my whole body was hurting and I didn't even know why so thats been fun. I stopped my medication, well the doctor did. She said I seemed I was doing better and she was going to take me off of them just to see how I will do without them. With somethings I can handle but Im not sure what to exactly do anymore when it comes to certain situations. There are just times when I wish that I wouldnt wake up as soon as I go to sleep but I guess I have to live with the changes that life will throw at me sometimes, even if its a 20 ton semi- truck. (>.<)

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Did you wean off your meds slowly? I accidentally forgot to put mine in my daily pill case and I totally freaked out. I didn’t even know why! I have never felt so bad! When I finally found out I took it and within 24 hours I felt like my norm. Which isn’t great but manageable. Could it be that you were doing good because your medicine was helping? My episode scared me so I am trying to slowly wean off my medicine. I’m just hoping I’ll be able to manage without but it will take a while. I’m working on coping skills. Make sure you talk to your doctor about what is happening. Look into all natural ways of dealing with depression/ anxiety. That can be very helpful. I switched one of my meds a couple months ago and my doctor still thinks a few of my symptoms could be from detox. I’m not sure but he is the doctor. It’s awesome that you did so well for months. That is great!

[wallflower1108 in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Yeah I'm weaning them off slowly and at one point I forgot my whole pill case at home and I was going somewhere for the weekend with a couple of friends and like 30 minutes into the drive and I told them to turn back around so i could get my meds and honestly I was having a hard time trying to calm down and my usual coping methods weren't really working,mostly because the car was cramped. When I took my meds it took about several hours for them to work but we all had a fun weekend. My medicine does work fine for me and I was doing good. Weaning off my medicine at first was hell but eventually it got better and I can cope with it sometimes. My doctor keeps close tabs on me with it comes to how i'm coping during the process of weaning off my meds and so far she says i'm doing good but some of the symptoms that I experience sometimes are due to detox. I hope you are doing good with weaning off your meds and I hope your having a nice and thank you, i really appreciate it.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to wallflower1108]

I changed my pain medicine to something not as strong. My choice. I also cut my antidepressant dosage in half last week. I haven’t had any problems with it but all heck has broke loose around me. With a very angry husband that is an alcoholic and today we got a call that his granny that practically raised him is dying. He’s not handling that well. It’s always something. I’ve been so numb I take and take but I feel like weaning will allow me to feel more and take less. I’m tired of feeling numb. I still feel hurt and sadness I just don’t have the strength or motivation to deal with the problems. I keep saying when this crisis is over I will but there is always another crisis. So right now I’m just trying to get my drug soaked brain more alert and awake so I can finally start taking some actions. My brain isn’t what’s numb. That never stops it’s just that my body is too numb to do anything. Time for me to wake up!

[wallflower1108 in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Weaning off your medication will somewhat help you regain the feelings that were numbed by the medication but in my experience it was really weird and I didn't know what to do with them. But I think its different for everyone.

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to wallflower1108]

I’m not ruling out the possibility that I will need something. I certainly did when I got them. It’s just gottennto be too much. I need to get clean and with the Knowledge I have learned start fresh I hope I don’t need them but only time will tell