Panic and anxiety

[Marato]

Just want to pour my emotions here

Recently been feeling very shit, because I keep seeing my ex who broke my heart, 2 months ago now, but I'm still hung up on him

For the past 2 months Iv been seeing him in night outs because we go to same uni, and every time I see him I cry my heart out, it's so bad that now even the bartenders ask me if I'm okay during day time

My majorly embarrassed because I cried infront my exs mates, I feel like I should have been strong after the break up, but I keep making a fool out of myself infront of my ex and his mates

Which now is giving me serious pain, because I feel like I'm stupid

What's worse is that all my mates talk to my ex and follow him on social media, but my exs mates have all unfollowed and unfriended me,

My mates say that they don't want to do that because they used to be good friends with my ex 😞 I'm struggling, he broke my heart out of nowhere, he's doing fine and I'm still a mess

[Hidden]

Your feelings are understandable. The breakup is still fresh in your mind, everyone feels differently. Try not to make it worse by putting yourself in situations where you'll run into him and hoping for his apology or some communication. Many of us have been through similar experiences and I know it's not helpful. Focus on feeling better yourself and talk to those who know you well and are helpful.

[Marato in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for responding, but unfortunately I keep seeing him on night outs, and I go out to try to get my mind off him and enjoy with my mates

[HearYou]

Marato, is this your first break up of a serious relationship? Life is not fair sometimes, particularly with our hearts. All I can offer is that I and others really do understand what you are going through. Eventually, you will heal, and you will remember the good parts with your ex in a melancholy way, particularly if he was you're first "true love."

What Puffcat writes is very true, but difficult to avoid "your" places where your ex still goes and the uni. With a breakup or divorce, you lose more than your love for a while. Life feels unfair for you to be the one to need to avoid these places, instead of him. But that may be very helpful while you still feel so "raw". Two months is not so long if you were very emotionally invested in the relationship.

But I believe Puffcat is right, that it's time to take steps to move forward.

If there is counselor anywhere to just help you work through the stages of the grief and loss you feel, take advantage of that. Your mates are still there for you. They are walking a tightrope and don't want to lose either of you.

There is a part of an old Paul Simon song that I feel describes where you are now, you will hurt/grieve as long as you need, and you will one day look back at this as a memory. You will love again.

"Losing a love is like

a window in your heart,

You feel blown apart.

Everybody feels the wind blowing.."

My best to you as you mend that window in your heart.

[Marato in reply to HearYou]

Thank you so much,

Yes it was my serious relationship, we spent every day together and did evrything together, and one day he just leaves me,

I see everywhere and it breaks my heart, but I don't want to stop going out because I don't want to miss out,

Everyone keeps saying to me that I should move on, but it's so hard, because I gave my all to him and he just left

I did register for counselled as well, but they haven't responded yet which makes it worse

My mates are no longer ready to listen to me moan about him,

And I've seen him chat to girls on night out, which just hurts

Idk what I'm doing

I have days when I'm fine, and then suddenly my stomach turns and I feel anxious and can't control myself from feeling terrible

[HearYou in reply to Marato]

Ok, I know you need a place to vent and grieve....that moaning is your grieving, without losing your friends...you must be in UK if you are having to wait so long for counseling. Try switching the word "grieving" for "moaning"...think words we use and refer to ourselves affect us. In fact, throw that "moaning" word out the window and your vocabulary.

Ok, this my sound weird, but sometimes thinking out of the box works. Is there a church anywhere near you that has a pastor, priest, deacon, women support group that you can visit and say you really need so one to talk to. Doesn't matter if you are not a member. Some one there is trained to listen and support a person in need and keep it secret.