Struggling

[CABB]

I am struggling with my depression. I am in so much emotional pain. I wake up and go to sleep crying. I am so nauseous I can’t eat. I feel so stressed and anxious all day that my chest aches by the end of the day. I can’t wait to go on break or go home from work so I can get in my car and bawl my eyes out. I am just so sick of being awake! I hate waking up in the morning I just lay in bed and cry and ask, why did I have to wake up? I just want this all to end.

[GMurphyR]

Hi, my daughter has been diagnosed with severe depression and what she does is listen to music, she plugs in the earbuds and blasts her music, you tube videos also help her. And yes, she used to cry her eyes out, but music has helped her. I wish you can find something that eases your emotional pain. I don’t know you but I’m sure you are a beautiful soul, this world needs sensitive people that actually care for other humans, please don’t give up, there is a sunshine waiting for you.

[CABB in reply to GMurphyR]

Thank you. I have taken to watching Ellen Degeneres on YouTube she does make me feel something other than sad. I appreciate support and kind words. It helps to know I’m not alone when I feel so alone and in pain.

[Chloe2057]

Sometimes our brain becomes overloaded. Simply, put the brain has a complex filter system and high anxiety and depression can over-ride all other thoughts that we are desperately trying to piece together to make our lives/jobs work and it simply becomes too much.

This happened to me some years ago. I carried on. Until l literally stopped. Remember it well. Was unloading the dishwasher and started crying. Cried fir 3 days couldn’t stop. My employers offered me time off, l took a couple of weeks, went back too soon, happened again!

If you have any holiday due, my advice is to take it. Go away too. Even if it is

[Chloe2057 in reply to Chloe2057]

Sorry about that it just sent! Even if it is to friends or family or a “singles holiday” sometimes our brains need a complete and total change to re-configure themselves. Have a good look at your life and work, do any changes need to be made? Take up a hobby of a distracting nature or try evening classes in a zany topic. Have a good bedtime routine. Learn about and practice meditation and mindfulness too! Sounds a lot!

But NO sometimes we need a TOTAL life change! Do not be afraid of making one. You are the most important part of this! Good luck and please let us know how you do! 😊

[CABB in reply to Chloe2057]

I think you are right. I need to look into some type of mental health leave through my employer. I think it is very possible that if I keep going at the rate I am going I will have a mental breakdown and stop functioning completely.

[Chloe2057 in reply to CABB]

Please do not push yourself this far. It took me nearly two years and a whole lot of grief and pain to come out the other side. Sometimes our brains just “know” when they have had enough! Your suggestion to approach your employer is FANTASTIC and so positive. You would be amazed most employers who value their employees are only too willing to assist with a recovery! However, it may be you need a complete life change? Area/job etc but the break, if you are kind to yourself during the time away and do not attempt to re-decorate your home (ha ha) will give you thinking and reflecting time! GO FOR IT! Take some time! 😊