I’m really struggling : Good morning... - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

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I’m really struggling

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65

Good morning. Every morning as many of you know, I wake up with a lot of anxiety and dread. I don’t want to go on living like this. I wake up and think 'oh god here it comes again' and I pray for his help. I ruminate about the life I had, my happy childhood and all the people who cared and loved me, most are no longer around. I never thought life would turn out this way at 53. Alone with no friends, no children and nothing to look forward to. 'What will become of me?' Is a constant thought I have. But my morning anxiety is so unbearable, however as the day goes in it does subside.

Does anyone else experience this? Or is alone battling anxiety and depression?

Thank you. Don

32 Replies
oldestnewest

Hey Don, it’s time to change the story in the morning. What we say to ourselves becomes the issue..

Hidden
Hidden

Remember I am your friend, always will be, just like a fungus, hard to get rid of! I wish for you peace my friend! Love & Hugs!!!

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65 in reply to Hidden

Thank you Lisa for being my friend. And for listening to me, and always responding with kind words of support.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Shutterbug65

It's my pleasure! I love you, please know that!! Dump trucks of hugs for you, sure hope you can feel it!!! XXX

It's never too late to change what makes you unhappy....acceptance that what was is past, what we can't let go of are some of the scars no one but us feel, but we can learn to live with stuff we cannot change...and we can make choices today to find a way...find what we like doing, have always wanted to do, and change what we are doing that makes us feel so unhappy. This disease is often isolating and leaves us with little motivation to want to to anything....but we also are survivors....we have to learn to use that survival to make change...only we can do it.

Hey Don

You're not alone. Most people have similar thoughts and feelings which come and go. I have suffered with Anxiety, Depression, Insomnia and severe stress in the past.

I guess i was lucky when i came across a simple understanding of where our experience comes from.

We are all led to believe that our experience comes from what is happening outside of us, but actually we experience life from the inside out.

Once you grasp this understanding, you could change your life whichever way you would like to...make new friends...start a relationship...and lose the ever constant and self limiting thoughts you currently have.

You can change from being a victim to being a victor!

gogogirl
gogogirl in reply to RAB888

I like this!

RAB888
RAB888 in reply to gogogirl

We are generally all born with innate mental health and wellbeing.

The problem we have is that we are all living in a misunderstanding of where our experience comes from

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65 in reply to RAB888

Thank you for your reply. I wish I knew how. I don’t sleep well, I constantly worry, I have very little motivation, and my problems which are many seem to only get worse. I can’t deal with this alone. Even coworkers have noticed my depressed mood and don’t talk to me much anymore. Most people look forward to the weekends but I don’t, it’s just two days I will spend alone with my thoughts and problems.

I wish I could cry, but I can’t even manage that. What will become of me? I need help.

RAB888
RAB888 in reply to Shutterbug65

I have a new understanding of where the human experience comes from that over 90% of people on this planet are unaware of.

This understanding is helping people overcome their problems for good

RAB888
RAB888 in reply to Shutterbug65

Would you like some support with your problems. You are most welcome to send me a message. I will be glad to help

Cara424
Cara424 in reply to RAB888

Read this thread. I could use some support to. My anxiety is getting worse

yeah just about everyday that i realize that the world that i fear nowa days is still there and i'm still here. then i turn this thing on and i do what your doing i put it out there and by the time i was done taking a shower and noticing i have the makings of man jugs where muscle used to be there were 4 replys by the time i go back online. thats how i can live with myself for a few more minutes each day homie.

Don,

You are not alone in this. I awake every darn morning with this horrid anxiety and feelings of hopelessness and dread. I’m so sick to death of it. I can have the best day ever, which I did yesterday, and BAM anxiety is right in my head pumping worst case scenarios and overwhelming negative thoughts into my brain right as I wake up. It’s such a crappy way to start each day. It’s a cycle I’m trying desperately to change.

I know my thoughts are just thoughts and not reality. Yes I have stress and some pretty big issues I’m dealing with right now, but they can be overcome. They have to be overcome one way or another and sitting worrying over them (which I do obsessively) is not going to to solve anything.

It feels strange to let go of stress/worry. It feels as if I don’t worry over my situation that my situation will get worse and I have to find answers and fix all my problems NOW or else the worst is going to happen. It’s exhausting. It isn’t realistic and certainly isn’t healthy, but it’s my every morning.

The good news is that as the day wears on, the anxiety lets up and by evening I’m back to feeling almost normal. It’s such a strange and frustrating cycle. I’m trying every technique mentioned to get past this. What works best for me is forcing myself out of bed once awake (no matter how early) and doing anything that distracts my negative thoughts. Reading, stretching, watering garden, walking dogs, watching funny TV program, coming here, watching self help YouTube videos, doing one chore, journaling, getting out of my house...... not all of these are possible every day and these are things I force my self to do, but always feel better after.

Hang in there. I wish we lived closer so we could hang out together and get through this together.

Eileen

Thank you so much for your reply. What you described is exactly the way I feel everyday. The cycle of morning anxiety and then feeling better as the day wears on.

I don’t have time right now but will respond more later.

Wow this is me exactly. There has to be a biological reason for this, it’s not just in our head. Our body is not in balance

I suffer from morning depression, I have to get up and out off bed by 6 30 am, it normally subsides by about 9am, mind you last couple of days it's been worse, still got the missing my ex running through my head

Hidden
Hidden

Hey I understand what you are going through and I understand you think that you have nothing or nobody who cares but I want to tell you that I do I care I care enough to wake up at six in the morning to help a fellow friend I want you to know that I will be here for you if you ever need just comment or reply and we can talk!!

And I hope life has become a little more brighter

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65 in reply to Hidden

Thank you that means a lot to me. Most people don’t understand and many think you can just snap out of it. And of course if I could I would, no one chooses to live this way. And with the case of anxiety and depression it seems to weave it’s way into our lives over time. I always been somewhat anxious, but as a child I was happy. That’s not the case now.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Shutterbug65

No problem I just want you to know that someone cares even if you don’t know who they are and someone will be there for you to talk to even if you don’t think they are

Just the fact that you are able to mitigate your own depression, and power through it must be a litlle encouraging. It is hard to make human connections, that seems to be what you would like. Maybe brainstorm about acceptable methods of doing so, and attempt one. It is daunting; but, no more so than the self-realization that I mentioned earlier.

Hello friend,

This is me everyday just waking up and having anxiety. It does subside but at times itll get worse thru out the day. Or it brings on severe muscle aches. Like my arms will spasm or my mid back spams. My mind makes me feel like I'm about to hit the floor and die. Or my dummy self googles my symptoms and I assume I'm having a heart attack. But when I see I dont drop and die I'm like ok just an anxiety. I laugh at my self after awhile. But I'm 38 and I feel alone. Even tho I have childrean and friends I still feel alone. I feel like no one gets me. Even tho i know some do i just still feel all alone. That's why i love this forum. But at times I wish I had someone to just sit with me and talk. I usto talk to my sister all the time but ever since she made fun of my condition In front of our family I chose to not talk to her. She said I need to suck it up and stop being a punk. Stop trying to get attention. So now I just shut down I keep everything to my self or look for someone on here to talk. This anxiety we have is beatable that's something I truly believe in. We just have to show it who's boss. I hope you start feeling better and I'm here friend if you ever just want to talk. And I know alot of other people here are here for you too. Stay blessed and positive. We got this.

Espinoza, I completely relate to feeling alone. I have 2 teens who depend on me to be their rock and a wonderful best friend. Even though I have a boyfriend I live with (works out of town) he is a total train wreck himself and only adds to my anxiety and offers no comfort. I normally do well in the evenings, but last night I was home alone and felt it. I was so washed over by despair and loneliness that I just cried and cried until I fell asleep. I hate that lonely feeling and also crave the company of others who get it. I wish we were neighbors. I would always be there for you so you wouldn’t have to endure that lonely feeling or panic alone.

Eileen

That would be awesome if we where neighbors then we would be able to just talk away. It really does help to have someone that understands.

Hi and thank you. My morning anxiety is horrible. Why in the morning? Why do I wake at 4:00 am with these thoughts? Every self doubt every problem seems to be amplified, I feel like my life is just spiraling out of control. I’m on medication for both my anxiety and depression. I have no one to talk to. I come to this forum but think people get tired of hearing about my problems. My anxiety/depression has caused me to become isolated while those I’ve known have moved on. I’ve made a lot of poor decisions in my life and think I’m being punished some how. Who knows?

I know how you feel, I know the torment you are experiencing. It’s hard for people to understand how we feel, they don’t know what to say.

I keep to myself, I have no one to talk to. Like you I just shut down, I just stay inside my own head. It’s scary. It’s awful that your sister did that. It’s like people believe we are making this up just to get attention. But the one thing I can look forward to is that as the day wears on I feel better. And by the evening I’m feeling a lot better. However the darkness always surrounds the light, and when I wake at 4:00 am or so all my anxiety, my troublesome thoughts flood back in. And they don’t let up.

Thank you again for you understanding. Please keep in touch. Take care.

RAB888
RAB888 in reply to Shutterbug65

I have a very good idea why you're waking at 4am and instantly start thinking about your problems, and also why you feel that you're making poor decisions. I am here if you want to get rid of your problems for good

Your're not alone, story sounds so sadly similar to mine. If I may make a suggestion, we need to change the way we perceive our lives, in other words, we need to change how we think. Yes, we may have lost loved ones, but sooner or later, we all do. We need to change how we think, can't stress that enough. Caught in a cycle of counterproductive spiral way of thinking, that's doing us harm and nothing else. It's really the only solution. Also 53 here. Think about it, that's all, take care, write back if you want. Thanks for listening.

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65 in reply to Hollick

Sorry got the delayed response. I know I need to change the way I think and perceive things. But it’s so much easier said than done. I fell into this pattern of negativity. I look around me and I see so much work that needs to be done around my house, mostly outside and I get overwhelmed just thinking about it. I tend to put things off until it becomes a big problem. And if that’s not enough I ruminate about things that can go wrong. I don’t make a lot of money so I have financial concerns as well. My cat has kidney disease so she requires special food which is $$. The thing is I know there are plenty of people who have it far worse than me, and I feel like a failure for not being able to "just deal with it". All I think about is how alone and isolated my life has become and it scares me. How do you find friends at 53? I’m embarrassed by my life.

Thank you for your thoughtful words.

I know how you feel. I get very overwhelmed with the things that need done. I wake up feeling horrible. I can’t eat in the mirning which is essential for us to keep our blood sugar stable which effects our cortisol levels. I believe most people have hormone imbalances and/or our hormones arn’t being metabolized right. A lot has to do with the hypithalmus

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65 in reply to Cara424

I feel horrible in the morning as well. I’m able to sleep because of the Doxepin, but when I wake I still feel groggy and out of it. However I still experience terrible anxiety within minutes of waking. It’s hard to eat, it’s hard to focus on anything. And believe it or not the weekends are the worst for me. Because I no longer have any structure to my day, literally nothing to do except suffer through anxiety. I worry about everything, but being alone is my worst fear. Until I take my Xanax XR around 11:00 I get nothing done. I’m so tired of this cycle I’m in.

Hidden
Hidden

wow i can really relate to this. it’s the exact monologue i have going on in my head. which is why i go back to sleep and try to sleep as much as possible. my only coping skill.

Shutterbug65
Shutterbug65 in reply to Hidden

I wish I could get back to sleep. I take Doxepin to help with sleep. Without it I would wake up at 2:00 or 3:00 unable to get back to sleep because I’m constantly worrying about things. It’s horrible.

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