I’m tired of my anxiety and feel like I need help.

[Carlalesley15]

I have been suffering with anxiety for a lilttle over a year now and although I don’t feel as scared as I first did I feel like it hasn’t gotten any better I struggle on a daily with waves of negative thoughts and over thinking I make the slightest problem a big one and I feel like it’s really effecting my relationship, I’ve been in a relationship for a little more than 4yrs I feel like ever since my anxiety things have got though I struggle a lot because I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t understand me and I feel frustrated with emotions, I feel like no one understands. I first realized I had anxiety when I started to suffer from panic attacks where I couldn’t breath and I felt this wave of anger, crying, uncomfortableness, the sensation of something stuck in my throat, thighness of chest and just feeling like I was stuck I felt the urge to run, to just run and run. I ignored my first symptom and simply went to sleep right after, my second one was in a car while I was driving, I experienced all of the above but this time my face, arms and legs went numb I was SO scared I rushed myself into the emergency room. I remember seeing the face on the receptionist who was so scared for me I was crying uncontrollably I couldn’t catch my breath I thought 1. I’m going crazy or 2. I’m having a heart attack. Seeing how I was panicking they took me right in and asked me all these questions about how I felt, the doctor told me I was suffering from a servere panic attack. He thought me how to breath through them. I went on and shortly after that I had another panic attack again with the numb face and other symptoms i went back to the emergency room where I spoke to a psychiatrist he gave me more tips, as well as medication. I started to take the medication but it would just drug me, make me fall asleep, my friends and family noticed how o was always sleepy and not myself. I felt depressed till my mom told me to stop taking the pills, I stopped and I felt a bit better. I started to really research what and anxiety disorder and panic disorder was and I felt relieve to actually know that I wasn’t crazy, so many people called me crazy including my mom and boyfriend they didn’t understand. In fact it’s been almost 2 years and they still don’t. It’s been so hard because although I know what anxiety is and how there are ways to help me I find myself feeling stuck, overthinking bad situations, still having panic attack from time to time (knowing how to control them with out medical attention) but I don’t feel myself. I often feel like running away just running cause I can’t even take all the thoughts in my head. I take the slightest problems in my relationship and feel like it’s world termination I don’t know why I do that. I feel stuck, I feel like I need help but I don’t know how I’m tired of having scrambled thoughts. I have a hard time sleeping or staying still I find myself not being able to turn my brain off, I find myself being in slumps from time to time, I feel sad, I feel like my anxiety makes my problems replay in my head. I want to feel like myself again I want to be happy. Any tips on how. Do therapist work? How can I get a therapist? Do I have to pay out of pocket? Is it covered by medical?

[AuntBea]

If you have insurance, it likely will be covered just like any doctor visit. If you are in school, most college campuses have student health centers. If neither of those apply, look for a church health center.

In the meantime, work on breathing exercises, and learn to calm yourself, perhaps the way the doctor in the ER showed you.

Also take a look at relationships. If your boyfriend is calling you crazy rather than helping you in your journey, does that tell you anything?

[Carlalesley15 in reply to AuntBea]

Thank you I will look into help from the following

[Hidden]

I know exactly how you feel. Have you tried CBT i noticed whenever i have a session it really helps. You can also try reaching out to a friend who truly understands. Are you on medication?

[Carlalesley15 in reply to Hidden]

I am not on a medication I was for like the first two months of my diagnosis but I felt like they made me depressed I was always sleeping and felt sad so I stopped them

[Hidden in reply to Carlalesley15]

Its for that reason i was scared to start mediction. Really trying to go natural

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

It must have taken alot of courage on your part to stop the meds.

[QuietStorm98]

All of those feelings you are having, I am experiencing now as well. I was diagnosed with major depression over 20 yrs ago. And finally diagnosed with severe anxiety, panic attacks and OCD the past 2 years, although I had been experiencing all of them since my early 20s. I just want to say you are not alone!!! Everything you described fits me to "T". I just had 2 tragedies occur in my life and with that I felt myself spiraling downward. I am on meds but had a short break from them and now it feels like I'm starting over. I also bought books to help me and I will be seeing my doc soon. Deep breathing does help but when you have those big ATTACKS it seems as if nothing works. Therapy does work and in the US if you don't have insurance you can get help from the county. The important thing is not to let it "linger" around. Be proactive. Best of luck to you! I know how it is not to feel yourself. Their are different meds you could try as well. Hopefully we both feel better soon.

[Carlalesley15]

Thank you!