Non supportive husband

[kelliedillon]

I have no idea what to do, last night he said " A depressed person is inherently selfish" I can't get him to understand or talk to a professional about what to do and how to handle what is going on with me. Any suggestions before I leave him?

[Hidden]

Give him insight to what you feel every day, how you feel when you wake up, how often you feel...down.... and what every day is like in the deep recesses of your mind, where all the things you don't see positively are thought about.

[kelliedillon in reply to Hidden]

I have and he tells me that i am always taking everything and making out to more than what it really is. What makes it even more difficult is his mother was diagnosed as depressed 20 years ago and is on meds. He didn’t know this till I finally got diagnosed.

[Hidden]

Yes try to get him to understand but if you can't there is no use beating your head against a brick wall. You will just have to deal with it without him and make sure you get the treatment you need. Unfortunately those closest to us don't always get it which doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It just means he doesn't understand. Many people don't. x

[HearYou]

My husband doesn't understand but he says he accepts it. And, believe me, he notices when I am having a difficult time. He grieved a bit when my PTSD dog died, but he definitely wants me to have another, even if we have to take out a loan.

I don't think anyone who has not been blessed with chronic depression or anxiety can really understand or know how we feel. Don't think I would have.

But am lucky. I really believe my husband really does accept my situation and watches how I try to deal with it. He does come with me to my neuropsychiatrist when I ask, as my doctor manages to get the message out clearly to him, when I can't. Think some of that is they are mature men of about the same age.

[Windy101]

Wow. What a thing to say. If we are self-absorbed at times, it's because we have to put so much energy into managing our symptoms. Can you go to marriage counseling? It doesn't sound like he understands that your illness is incredibly painful and not a choice.

[kelliedillon]

Done the counseling thing and nothing. He says that he can't handle my depression and anxiety and drinks because of it. So he blames his drinking on me instead of finding out what else is causing it. He was a drinker since before we met 13 years ago so I know that he doesn't drink just because of me.