I thought I had gotten better...

[Ashley8992]

I am 25 years old and for 6 years I went through an abusive relationship with an alcoholic. That was about 8 months ago, when I left I just felt so empty like I had nothing and I wanted to die. I was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety, and I spent 26 hours in one of the inpatient facilities. For the last few months I have been bettering myself and trying to feel like me again. I started working at Walmart and am actually going to be getting a promotion, I moved out of my mom's house about 1 week ago into my own studio apartment, and I have met someone in which I have started a relationship with. I like him a lot and we have both been through quite a bit in our lives. Here lately whenever he stays with me I get these moments where I don't want him there and I would rather be by myself, but on the other hand when he's not here all I want is for him to be next to me. I feel like there are awkward moments between us, but I don't know if it's just me or not. Like after there will be times where I feel like he doesn't want to touch me at all like he is hesitant to kiss me or put his arm around me. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid because of my past or if there is a real issue with my relationship. I am on no medication and I am not seeing a counselor, but I really could use someone's advice tonight, I'm feeling very negative and can't seem to shake it.

[dead_inside]

i don't think your paranoid I think your normal and your just nervous because of your previous relationship. Why don't you ask your partner if they're hesitant to touch you and ask why if they say yes. they could've gone through something similar to you or maybe they were in a relationship were they had to ask their partner if they could touch them. Im sorry to were diagnosed with depression and anxiety. it gets easier though. you arent alone. I'm here to you. c:

[Ashley8992 in reply to dead_inside]

See bring diagnosed was confusing because one doctor said I had depression and anxiety and then another one I went to said I didn't.

[dead_inside in reply to Ashley8992]

diagnosing a mental illness isn't always easy and it's even harder for the person being diagnosed.