Contemplating Leaving my Relationship

[Vicksterr]

[Unrelated: if anyone in south FL can recommend a company or career opportunity that is remote, please let me know. I can send you my resume to prove my credibility]

My boyfriend and I have been together officially for 3.5 years now (have been friends since 2009, started dating in 2016). But as if the last 8 months, he’s faithfulness has come into question. I found old messages on his snap chat (around the time I was pregnant) discussing sexual activities & when they can do it again. I found him sexting w/ pics someone from one of the discord groups in one of the many games he plays. I saw convos between he & his best friend regarding women they want to or have slept with. In a lot of these instances, the other party recognizes that he has a significant other, but ultimately & clearly don’t care.

This makes me wonder that the times he tried to accuse me of cheating were out of guilt. He’s been hiding so much the entire time. I don’t trust him anymore. No, I do not normally go through his phone, but since 2016, this is the 3rd time.

Unfortunately with our daughter I can’t just up & leave, especially since we’re in a pandemic. But I refuse to tolerate this shit.

I’m trying my best to find a work from home job so I can quietly work towards just being on my own. I’ve never cheated, never kissed another man, never been overly affectionate, everyone in my life knows how important he is to me. He’s a great liar, I hate to admit.

But I think what hurts most is that it was during the first trimester of my pregnancy, when I lost 30lbs due to Hyperemesis Gravidarum. And his priorities were elsewhere...

[Hidden]

That definitely seems like a tough situation to be in. Have you told him you found all of this out and that you have the PROOF! He can’t deny it, if you have proof. But honestly if he’s doing all of that he’s never respected you or the relationship. I would have to leave if he was treating me that way. Especially having a child, I would at least want them to have a dad who knows how to treat their wife & if the child sees you fighting all the time with him I don’t think that’s gonna help ☹️ Once someone breaks your trust more than one time, I don’t think you’ll ever be able to trust that person again because you have no reason to. Just hold on a bit longer til this pandemic is over! I don’t know what he is like but if you feel more comfortable admitting he did all of this once this is almost over then go for it so you can up and leave! Know your worth! You should be treated like a queen, if he can’t treat you like one then LEAVE! There are 7 BILLION people in this world and i’m sure you could find someone who will make you so much happier than he’s made you.

[Vicksterr in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much. It’s hard, because I’m old enough to know love isn’t enough. We don’t argue a lot, but I don’t let things linger either. I feel it’s definitely a lack of respect for me (especially since he was so adamant on finding out things I did prior to us even dating). I’m just trying to think logically and not out of emotion.

[Hidden in reply to Vicksterr]

Well it’s definitely going to be hard..But what do you mean you’re old enough to know love isn’t enough?

[Vicksterr in reply to Hidden]

I’m 29. Love is a beautiful thing, but if a relationship does not have a balance of respect, loyalty, compassion & comprehension, how will that love prevail. I’m not one of those girls thinking “well I love him so much, I don’t want to break up, he’s my heart” — granted that it is true. But love should not be about how much pain you endure, of stress you maintain just because you love someone & they aren’t giving you the same in return. We have a daughter to think about, and having her in the healthiest environment is priority.

[Hidden in reply to Vicksterr]

That makes sense! I wish you the best. Keep us updated, we’re here for you ❤️ How has everything else been though?

[Vicksterr in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. Pretty copasetic. I hope you’re safe & sound 💗