Why do I feel so stuck?

[seamonkey27]

I recently moved to San Francisco to go to university, and I thought this would be a new beginning. I could reinvent myself and live life differently. I’m finally away from family drama, as well. No one from my high school goes to this school, so I’m completely away from my home life. Why don’t I feel differently then? I feel the same. I’m still poor. I don’t have a home to go to. I have no friends, only acquaintances. No one invites me anywhere. I still hate myself. University is just like high school. I start to think I’m unlikable and no one wants to be around me. I present myself to others with my best attitude, though. There’s nothing I can do. People say it is what you make of it, but all I have to make with is the inside of my dorm room, my classes, and work.

[Windy101]

Well, we bring ourselves with us wherever we go, that is true.

STILL -

You have had a gigantic change. SF is a huge city, and there you are, one tiny person plunked down among thousands of people. How courageous you are!

It would be lovely to make friends right away, but it takes time. It may take a couple semesters. In the meantime, your school surely has organizations and clubs anyone can join. Look for something based on your own interests. If you don't like one, try another.

I'm in school too, and it is lonely. This is my first semester, too. I'm older than most students so it will take time for me to meet ones I can relate to. I love the younger students, but we don't have a lot in common.

Honestly, you are in my favorite city in the entire U.S. There is so much to explore there. I encourage you to give it time. Yes, dorm rooms can suck if you your roommate feels like a stranger, but that will wear off. You can get a new one if you really don't like her once you know her. Same with your job.

You are going through such big changes all by yourself, brave one! Give yourself credit for your courage and the positive steps you are taking. You may feel very differently in a short time. Meanwhile, try to seek out some of SF's free, cool sights and natural beauty if you're up to it. Maybe take a risk and ask your roommate to go with you. It could help you get to know each other better.

Please let us know how it goes! You are not alone, not at all. People here care about you and what is happening. Write away and let us know how you're doing.

[claudiadee in reply to Windy101]

I agree with you completely. Congrats on everything Seamonkey!

[Struggling777]

Well done seamonkey27 for posting on this site. Moving to a new location without familiar faces is a huge change. Thoughts of reinventing yourself somewhere new sounds great but in reality it takes time. You have so many new things going on it has to be a step at a time. I think you're amazing to go off to San Francisco all alone and start a new life.

There are likely to be others there feeling just like you but will present themselves, as you do, appearing fine and happy without any sign on the outside of how they are looking to make friends. If we let our guard down too much it makes us feel less strong and we would only do that with close friends so it's a vicious circle.

As another reply suggested there are groups you can join if they suit your hobbies and interests or even perhaps take up a new hobby. If you are an animal lover there may be a shelter where you could volunteer and make some furry friends as well as meeting other animal lovers too.

I hope things get easier and that you enjoy spending time in such a wonderful place. Be kind to yourself and very best wishes.