Feel like i’m going to snap

[RenYellow]

This is mostly a vent but I feel like this has been building up for months of being practically in isolation other than going to classes, with going to school 3 hours away from home, not getting along with my roomate, and having literally no friends like not even acquaintances, nothing.

For like a month now i’ve been slowly loosing it. like every tiny inconvenience sets me off and i can’t stop crying. Nothing seems worth doing and I don’t care about any of the things i used to love and i just feel restless like i need to go somewhere even though i have nowhere to go.

I have my boyfriend and mom who i talk to on the phone but they’re also 3 hours away and have their own lives to worry about. My boyfriend is working 3 jobs and can barely find the time to sleep and my mom is dealing with a divorce and a bunch of other stuff too. I can’t put all of my shit on them and i have no one else. And even when i do explain how i’m feeling to them they just give me the same advice to go to clubs and put myself out there to make friends which hasn’t worked once in the two years i’ve been at this school. Not to mention i can’t focus on making friends when i feel like i’m gonna have a panic attack from something as small as spilling or dropping something.

I’ve been trying to keep it together till friday because thats when i get to go home for a week of spring break but i don’t even know if i can make it that long without having a full blown nervous breakdown.

Like even now my roomate is on the phone talking super loud and i literally feel like i’m going to go crazy. Its midnight but i’m seriously about to leave my dorm and just walk like i don’t even know where. i have nowhere to go i just can’t be here right now i feel like the walls are closing in on me and i can’t breathe i feel trapped and listening to music and my typical coping methods just aren’t working anymore.

I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss. I’m all alone two hundred miles away from any of the people who can help me and i can’t go to a hospital or anything cause thats just going to disappoint everyone and make me miss class and the anxiety of going through that whole process isn’t something i think i can even handle right now.

Does anyone have any coping mechanisms that have really helped them when they feel like they’re on the edge and nothing else has helped?

[MSanon]

I am sorry to hear you are experiencing pain. Sometimes life is hard...

I recently discovered the Tapping Solution. A free app on your phone. It really has helped me. Lots of topics to choose from. Easy to do.I got the paid version.

Wim Hof, the ice man ,has a lot of you tubes showing his breathing method.

Look up 5 minutes Pure Awareness for a helpful you tube.

Search guided meditation

you tubes that you can listen to

that calm your mind.

A book I got on Amazon kindle called Choosing Easy World is very good so far....

I hope one of the above is helpful to you.

Do your best to live in the Now, not the past or future.

The Now is where you will find peace of mind.

This too shall pass.

Friday is nearly here.

May you find peace.

[b1b1b1]

A new roommate would be a good start, if you can find one, or even your own room.

[RenYellow in reply to b1b1b1]

I know, getting out of that situation will help a lot. I messaged the RA to make an appointment to talk about everything and switch rooms but she hasn’t gotten back to me yet.

[greenmango1]

Hi! You're totally not alone and I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. I'm dealing with the same situation where my boyfriend and mom are miles away because I'm away for school and also have had my fair share of roommate difficulties. I've been crying a lot these past few days and dealing with intense mood swings and feel similar where I don't want to bother my boyfriend or my mom because they're both busy. One thing that helped me was reaching out to the university for counseling services and starting therapy. One thing that's really helped me in therapy is an app called SBT. You can log up to 5 emotions you're currently feeling, and it'll suggest a couple of guided meditations that may help. I've also learned that changing your setting helps if you start to feel overwhelmed by emotions. This can be something as simple as moving from your bed to the ground. I wouldn't feel guilty about reaching out to your mom or boyfriend. As your supporters, I'm sure this is something they'd be more than happy to help with, and I'm sure you'd do the same if the situation were reversed. You deserve support from your loved ones, and you can even tell them you feel guilty for asking for their support. As for the roommate situation, talk to them! The more you hold in, the more intense your negative feelings towards them will become. I know this is easier said than done, so sometimes I do this over text so I don't have to feel as uncomfortable or anxious. Remember to breathe and focus on what your next step is. Hope this helps.

[cbgrace1980]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Have you tried online counseling? I think having a neutral person to talk with would help you be able to sort a lot of these things out. When I feel anxious I take a bath, light a candle, make myself calm down, text a friend, read a book. Are you getting any sleep? That can contribute to how you are feeling. I hope that you can vent here anytime you need to. You are not alone!

[adrenalinejunkie]

Heyyy! I totally get it, actually when its close to a break, we tend to be more on edge. So when I'm super anxious, my therapist taught me to "shake it out". Shake ur hands as hard as u possibly can for a good thirty seconds. After, you will feel sooooo good like the buzz you get after a good run. Music was also not working for me, but I realized I was doing it wrong. You should play something that you can jam out to, and play it nice and loud, and jam ur heart out. This is great for anxiety that won't calm down. Instead of trying to bring it down through baths and breathing, go to its level and embrace it through getting hyped and active enough to beat your normal heart rate when ur anxious.

[Agamemnon2022]

First, thank you for sharing with us. It takes a lot of courage to reach out when you are in pain but it is the first thing we need to do.

The no friends thing has me concerned for your long-term college experience. You might try joining an organization on campus to meet more people. The theatre guild will take anyone for backstage/set design and are in my experience some of the most welcoming people there are. Try getting a job working part time in library or bursars office. Jobs where you interact with lots of other students.

This may not be the right college for you. I have 10-12 friends that went to 2 different colleges. The only thing I regret about changing universities was that I waited so long.