Who can relate?: I deal with really bad... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Who can relate?

aj29 profile image
aj29
38 Replies

I deal with really bad anxiety.

Not a single day goes by that I don't deal with it.

I wish I could live just ONE day without it.

I feel like I'm trapped in this mind of mine.

I live in the future rather then the present.

I obsess over how I'm going to die.

I can't go to sleep without thinking I'm going to die.

I can't get in a car without coming up with a scenario of how I can die.

Any weird feeling in my body and I automatically think I'm about to die.

This is no way of living.

If only people knew what I go through everyday.

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aj29
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38 Replies
Justswimming profile image
Justswimming

Sorry..are seeing a therapist or taking medication? Can you join a support group? Do you have a pet?

Susan512 profile image
Susan512 in reply toJustswimming

Doing all that

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toJustswimming

I'm not seeing a therapist but I really want to! I just gotta get financially stable before I can. And although my anxiety is very bad I refuse to take any medication until I feel like it's my last option.

Susan512 profile image
Susan512

Keep taking your medication daily my doctor told me it's going to get worse before it's get better some meds take 4 to 6 weeks before it works I'm still waiting for my Anxiety to go away meds hasn't kick in yet I'm sick daily.

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toSusan512

I actually do t take medication. What kind of anxiety do you deal with?

Susan512 profile image
Susan512 in reply toaj29

GAD and Depression plus I have Gastroparesis, I'm sick all day today. Please pray for me to get better ✝️.🙏

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toSusan512

I will definitely pray for you!!!!! 💜💜💜

Susan512 profile image
Susan512

Genetics, chemical imbalance in the brain, or something happened in your life that triggers it, that's what I was told

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toSusan512

Yeah I've been told that something has to trigger it but I can't seem to pin point what that was. Thanks for the reply.

Fishmonster profile image
Fishmonster

Good morning

I'm sorry to hear about your pain and no it's not a way of living

outsiders may have a hard time understanding but Everyone here can relate somehow

Have you tried to see somebody for trauma therapy?

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toFishmonster

Good afternoon.

Yeah, it's hard for many people to understand when they don't know what we're going through.

I haven't. But I really want to.

I'm to the point where i need to reach out for help.

Thanks for the reply.

aj29 profile image
aj29

Dying is a big part of my anxiety but I also get anxiety for many other reasons. I was told to think back in time but I just can't seem to pin point why it's such a big deal to me. Thanks for the reply.

tiredbbygirl profile image
tiredbbygirl in reply toaj29

i have the same kind of anxiety sometimes and a lot of health anxiety too it sucks

Pariah2 profile image
Pariah2

I know how you feel, I hate that feeling, especially any weird feeling in my body, a heart flutter, if my hand goes numb for no reason, I especially feel this in stormy weather for some reason, I live in an area where we get occasional tornadoes, and while everyone else is used to it, if I get caught out driving in bad weather, even if its not a warning or a watch, my whole body gets hot and flushed and it's like someone is holding a gun to my head. I wish people would understand that and not make fun of me. I suppose people that are deathly afraid of heights, its like being very high and looking down. I hate when I get anxiety that bad it's almost like a near death experience. I would rather not have one.

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toPariah2

Yeah exactly! So many thoughts rushing through the head as if those will be your last moments Alive. I get the same but when I'm driving at night. I absolutely hate it.

reinagrace profile image
reinagrace

Hi aj29 i obsessively worry also, and get panic attacks, from my fear of growing old alone. til at one point the panic landed me in a hospital inpatient in a psych ward. I've lived alone for decades and i don't hope anymore that i will ever marry, so now in my 40's i'm terrified as the aging process slowly takes place. every new white hair, increasing body pains, not being able to exercise like i used to; death is something i prayed for since childhood but it's this slow ravage of time that i dread, this agonizingly long process of aging , of a body slowly falling apart, and i dread it may be a few decades more of this before i finally can leave earth. my mind is stuck in the future too, terrified what will happen when i'm feeble or have dementia- who will take care of me? will i be homeless bag lady one day, babbling nonsense in the streets? in my case i've taken some steps to plan for the future, and looking into assisted living places that i can get into, so at least i wont be living alone when i'm really old. i pray God helps me get into a home like that. glad to see that you pray, does that bring you any comfort? i pray you find something that comforts you--- if you want to avoid medication, try saying bible verses aloud- it calms me sometimes. i have some memorized, like all of psalm 23 for example i say aloud over and over when i'm panicking, esp the verse that says "yea though i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death i will fear no evil for You are with me, Your rod and Your staff they comfort me" and i just picture Jesus is with me holding me thru whatever may happen.in the darkness and fear i say this and other verses. let me know if you'd like me to give you any more calming verses. i pray daily for everyone on here . Blessings

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toreinagrace

Thank you for your reply!

I'm really sorry to hear what your going through.

May I ask why you've given up hope that you'll find someone?

Have you tried going out and meeting new people? Dating?

Everyday I wonder when I'm going to die. It feels so weird that one day I won't be here anymore. I'm not scared of dying and wouldn't mind dying because I'm not the biggest fan of this world we live in and believe there's a better life after we die. But i am scared of how I'm going to die.

What if you when your and did stuff you really enjoy to make the time fly faster and have a happier life? That's what I try to do. Just live my life to the fullest and do things that make me happy.

Thank you so much for the Bible verse.

God is the number one thing that gets me through this. Anytime I'm having a really bad attack I simply just talk to him. If there was no such thing as a god I most likely wouldn't be alive. I also like to talk to my loved ones who have passed away.

I'm going to pray for you! ❤️

reinagrace profile image
reinagrace in reply toaj29

Thank you aj29 for prayers. Yes i've tried dating, too complicated long story to get into. its hard to find what i like physically, in someone who is also a devout Christian- meaning , no sex before marriage, as Jesus taught. so i either go for someone i'm not physically attracted to, or, be with someone and sin. i only dated athletic muscular guys, and they are not the type to wait for marriage to have sex. well, i'm NOT willing to sin, nor, can i change my taste in men. please don't advise me to change my physical type- bc i say the same thing to anyone who tries this- i tell them that's like telling someone gay, to be straight. so hence, most likely i'll grow old alone unless God puts a Tim Tebow in my life ( do you know of him- he is a professional athlete who has had celebrity girlfriends dump him bc he won't have sex till marriage) . a guy like that, athletic and manly yet REAL Christian,, is 1 in 100 million, so , rather than think i could hit the lottery like that- i find ways to accept that i'll grow old alone. Plus the older i get the less attractive i am , i used to have only 1 or 2 white hairs, now it seems each month pops a new one and getting harder to pull them out. i had nightmare that my hair was all white, well one day that will be my reality . i try to enjoy my time with friends, game nights, dancing whatever-- and try to be thankful for blessings. but i battle the dark moments like all of us here and was relating to you in my reply,as it's my way of telling others they are not alone in all this panic and anxiety . Blessings and prayers :)

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toreinagrace

Okay that makes total sense! If that's what you're into then that's perfectly fine! But I am sure you'll find someone just have to keep looking and not give up hope.

I think many peoples fears is to grow old alone. I know that's one of mine to. But I have hope you'll find someone! Meanwhile just enjoy life <3

jBird100 profile image
jBird100

I can so relate. I have recently spiraled down into a deep depression and panic anxiety. I don't know what to do. I hope you get some relief.

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply tojBird100

Have you talked to anyone about it?

That's what helps me a lot.

I hope you get some relief as well. I know how hard it can be.

jBird100 profile image
jBird100 in reply toaj29

I am going to see a doctor in a couple of days. May be I will get on some other medication. Thanks for your response.

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply tojBird100

Hope all goes well!

vh005506 profile image
vh005506

I feel the same way you are not along.. and the thoughts on how I could die are followed by, it would be better for everyone if I died.

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply tovh005506

Please don't say that. It wouldn't be better. You just have to find a meaning to life. I get the same thoughts often. There's days where I ask god to just take me already. But it's just not my time to go. And neither is yours! Have you tried talking to anyone about it?

Wilburbudgirl profile image
Wilburbudgirl

I always think I’m going to die from every little pain!

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toWilburbudgirl

Same here. The other day I had a cold and got an ear infection and couldn't stop crying because I thought I was going to go deaf. When it was just a simple cold. I totally understand and it's such a horrible feeling. I use to tell myself "what's the point of living if I think I'm going to die everyday"

Just know when it's our time then it's our time to go. Lately I've been telling myself that. I've gotten to the point where I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way that everytime I feel like I'm going to die I just say "calm down, stop exaggerating, and if you are really dying then it's okay because that means it's your time to go" I say it in a mom voice kind of screaming at myself.

albealva profile image
albealva

I feel the same way

albealva profile image
albealva

I go to work at 6:30 after a week of not working due to a panick attack now I’m just feeling anxious idk how I’m going to get thrug

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply toalbealva

Awe I'm so sorry to hear that. It has never gotten to that point for me where I have to miss work.

But I hope your get through it! Prayers your way!

one-love profile image
one-love

I know your pain I have my good days and my bad days a lot of my anxiety attacks I thought were heart attacks in the beginning because of the physical symptoms I was always having (heart pounding, dizzy, impending doom feeling, breathing difficulty) but after years of having them and talking to doctors and therapists I realize now when I have them they are just anxiety attacks but they can be very scary for sure if you don't know what it is in the beginning. I hate taking RX meds too so it's a double edge sword, I feel like I trade one problem for another when I take the pills the doctors give me and all the side effects that come with them. To be honest I have been using medical marijuana for the last few years and I feel it really helps me and doesn't have near as many bad side effects. I know it might sound crazy but look into it and try a sativa strain it really helps with mood, anxiety and depression. But use a low does if you never tried it before

saturdayschild profile image
saturdayschild

Hi one love

I am relating to so many of you guys on this

topic. Thank you for the courage to share....

I am a widow. My husband died of Colon

Cancer. He was diagnosed at 47, after 21/2

years of being his advocate he died. The

anxiety didn't begin at his diagnosis ~

it began the minute I heard the word cancer!

My youngest daughter was10. She was

diagnosed with JD at 12... After Mike died

I couldn't bring myself to cook. I felt so

overloaded and anxious at the thought of

the responsibility of making sure she

ate healthy. ( I still can't ).

I wanted to share that I went to every

caregivers group, read anything I could get

my hands on on precipatory greif, I had

already had a spiritual routine in place every

morning at 5! I had 6 kids believe me, it's

a good thing I prayed ( I'm only joking but

my patience grew short at times~ without

my beleif that there was a higher power

than me, I think I could have made headlines

" Mother of six finally loses it"

Once Mike died I couldn't do that either.

I went to a million greif groups, had a

therapist, didn't believe in medication

and finally one day my oldest kids sat

down with me and told me I needed it.

Well~ now I don't know what I believe, yet

for me that just threw a monkey wrench

into every thing else. It didn't help me.

If I had dime for every person who

gave me unsolicited advice ( like take meds)

etc. I would like to send them all on a

luxury cruise~ one way.I have come to

believe my greif, my intense predicaments

make well meaning people uncomfortable.

I don't know if anyone has heard of the

expression " invisible illness"~ ( I googled

it and felt less alone). One day I look fine

and actually have the energy to get out

and do something, and the very next day

I feel as if I've been run over by a truck!

I also have a sweet high functioning daughter

with autism. I cry so much because I am

so afraid when I die she will end up in

an abusive situation. I also feel scared, and

frustrated that her older siblings are not

even answering ( when they answer my

texts at all) if they will be her guardian .

I have to change my will because one of

my daughters already IS her guardian yet

she has changed so much and won't verbally

commit. I am on an online support group

for parents of young adults with special

needs. One woman seriously said she

prays all the time her daughter died before

her! That's how painful loving a sweet

kid that will left behind can be.

I am anxious SO often. Unless someone

has felt the debilitating effects of panic

attacks, that feel that they can kill you~

or worse want to die! Thank you for sharing

your experience. Just knowing we are

wounded warriors who just hold each other

up along this journey!

Sorry this is so long, I thought it was just

me because my loneliness is excruciating .

My family doesn't realize I am truly sick.

Also when they heard I was stage 0, they

thought as others do that I don't even

have cancer. That doesn't help either.

Sometimes I even believe it's " all in my

head". I'm sending prayers of peace and

comfort to all of you~ with love ~S

aj29 profile image
aj29 in reply tosaturdayschild

I’m really sorry to hear everything you are going through.

It must be really hard. I can’t even imagine.

I wrote this post a few weeks ago on a day I really felt like I hit rock bottom. I kept crying because I was so over living this way. But it’s so crazy to say that since this post I feel 100 times better. After doing a lot of thinking and praying.

Are you familiar with audible?

If you make an account with them you get a month free and 2 free audio books. Before the month ends you can cancel your subscription so you don’t have to pay.

Anyways one of the books I chose was “DARE” I’ve been listening to it everyday on my way to and from work. (30 minute commute) and it’s such an AMAZING book!!! It has helped me so much with my anxiety. It tells you how to deal with it in different situations you might be in. And it gives you so many examples. I feel like it would help you a lot if you want to give it a try!!! It’s been a life changer for me and it also has really good reviews so you can see for yourself.

As to your daughter I totally understand. I actually use to be a caregiver for people with special needs. I loved that job. But unfortunately there are people who work there who don’t really care about the individuals. I’m hoping you can get that situation figured out. I wish there were 100 of me so I could help but unfortunately there’s only one of me.

Take care! And remember to have HOPE (hold on pain ends)

saturdayschild profile image
saturdayschild in reply toaj29

Thank you. I'm glad that you are

feeling so much better! Xx

Blueeyed profile image
Blueeyed

You are not alone my friend. I relate to you so much.

Greenforest profile image
Greenforest

Hi everybody, have you guys already tried some natural supplements? Like Adaptogens, herbs.?

Adaptogens like Ashwagandha, Rhodiola, Panax Ginseng, LIcorice... There is Mucuna powder and Tryptophan supplements are good as well. Teas like Chamomile, passion flouwer... I have all these at home.

N.B. Don't take those supplements above if you are taking drugs or medecine, talk to your Dr first.

Cindy_louwho profile image
Cindy_louwho

I seriously feel like I am reading about myself! And I always say that “if only pleople knew what I was going through” it really sux because a lot of the times I feel like this feeling is never gona go away

ank2018 profile image
ank2018

I am new to this site so I am a little late on responding to this but I feel the same as you. I think I have had anxiety for a while just on certain things but really the last few years it has gotten extremely worse. People on here said that it is usually something that happened to trigger it. I do feel like the fact that I have lost a lot of loved one recently that it must be the bigger part as to why I think of it more than I did prior. I have always just gotten in my own head about death and just sitting here thinking wow one day it will be the last and then what you just aren't here anymore and its scary. I will say losing my mother in the beginning of 2016 hit me the hardest as she just passed away in her sleep and they ruled it as accidental overdose, which means that medication she was prescribed did not do well with one another and she just didn't wake up. I cant get that out of my head. I fear not waking up now when I go to bed and I start to have panic attacks and then cant sleep. I think the same when something is wrong I just immediately go to the worse case scenario and work myself up. And for others it is so easy to just get irritated with me and get upset because of how I feel and think. They just say stop thinking like that. If only it were that easy I wish I could as well. I have never been one that liked medication as I was on it once when I was a teen and it just made me feel fuzzy all the time. So far I have been able to manage it pretty well without anything so I thought until recently and now I know for sure I need something more. So I am starting here and hoping to see a therapist to possibly try the CBT in hopes that would work. Sometimes I wish I could just be hypnotized into just thinking like normal people. So I dont have any suggestions at this time just wanted you to know you arent alone and I feel the same way.

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