I'm a mom in my 50s and I feel like a total disappointment to my kids. I'm not where I want to be in life but I work hard. My kids don't seem to have a good opinion of me. My oldest is an adult who uses abusive language toward me often and I don't have the energy or ambition to tell them to stop. I cry daily. I have no close friends. I'm single. I hate being this way but I don't know how to get myself out of this funk.
I could go on but to cut a long story shot there's been a lot of trauma in my life since childhood and my therapist wants me to work through it but I just don't have a support group.
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Sadmominblack72
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Agora1's advice is solid. Kids, even adult kids have learned to use their super power (guilting us) to manipulate. It often works. But you can learn to take care of yourself. Also, when I needed help I joined a Tough Love group. They taught me to not reward my daughter with birthday gifts and Xmas/Hanakkah gifts. I know this sounds harsh but it woke me up. And it woke her up too. We're not doormats. Best wishes for your continued recovery 🥰
Hello Sadmominblack72 and welcome to the HU community.
I may not be a parent. I was raised by a career single mom. And she had me late in life. I learned a lot from my mom.
So I'll share with you some of the things she had taught me.
She told me that when we become parents we do the best that we can for our children. At a certain point however children began to think for themselves. Usually starts as early as 5 like picking out clothes to wear. But it builds from there. Eventually they are dressing themselves and deciding what to eat for themselves etc. We just hope that the lessons we have taught them in life carries on into their adult years and we hope they make good decisions.
Sometimes we as parents struggle and we make mistakes. All we can do is apologize for the mistakes that we made. But that's all we can do. She said. The past is the past. We can only move forward.
Sounds like your oldest is angry. She might be angry because her life didn't turn out the way she wants it to go. She is looking for a fall guy or should I say woman (?) to blame. But she's an adult now. She has to realize that there are things within her control not yours. She can chose to be bitter or she can chose to be happy. She has to realize that somethings you tried your best with what you had and known at the time.
You have to stand up for yourself. Let her know that hey I'm sorry if I wasn't perfect and I didn't do somethings right. But I tried. I apologized for what I did wrong like not always being there because of work. At the end of the day, I'm your mother and I deserve respect. Just like you respect her. You are worthy of love and respect.
Welcome to your online Support Group. We are a friendly and supporting bunch of folk here, so pull up a chair and lets all chat!
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xx
Can anyone relate
Looking for people who understand
Looking for people who can relate.
40's are rough! Any women relate?
Depression presenting itself as irritability and anger.
