Thought i would try and get a ...

Thought i would try and get a bit of help.

I am only 18.

I have now gotten to the point where i am literally just dazing through the days if that makes sense.

My memory is getting worse and worse and i also cannot remember things sometimes that happened 5 minutes before.

I am so so unhappy but i am so good at making people believe that i am perfectly fine so no one suspects anything.

I have reached the point where i dont see the point in doing anything productive or useful as i have the set mindset that im not going to be around for many more years.

I really do want to go to the doctors but i am terrible with talking to people and i am worried they wont take me seriously or whatever.

I dont see the point in getting up in the mornings and 2 weeks ago i was so set on ending things i ended up at the trainstation for 3 and a half hours.

I know it will sound silly but i am so scared of myself but then again im not at the same time.

I cant put anything into words, this is not even a little bit of how im feeling at the moment.

Im just worried that i will get pushed so far to the point where i do something i regret and it doesnt work., or than again it does work and ive ruined things.

I dont know if that makes sense? I dont know what do do anymore and i hate this

[Windy101]

Do you live alone or have any family nearby? Friends? It sounds like you've hit a very rough spot and could really use some support. Even if it's hard to put into words, I encourage you to call your local hotline and ask about getting help. I'm so sorry you've been feeling scared and alone ... there are many people on this site who know what it's like to feel depressed and anxious. You're among friends here!