Difficulty being productive - Anxiety and Depre...

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Difficulty being productive

Kevin160 profile image
15 Replies

Hey everyone, for a while now I have been suffering from health anxiety and panic disorder , now eventhough im dealing with it , im having trouble doing the things I used to do ,i cant seem to find the motivation to study, or go out or do anything, i know its silly but i dread doing these stuff because im scared, that my anxiety will get worse , im dreading to study or do activities because im worried that the anxiety wont go away either ways and like it will affect my health, like im dreading thinking about the future, like going to university and graduation because all i think about is my anxiety and constant panic that has gotten better but i just worry it will come back worse , im also worried that all this will cause me to develop these irrational thoughts that anxiety will kill me so i dont even want to think about the future because whenever i do i just think negative, i just want advices not much,i have been getting better im not looking for ways to reduce anxiety, i just need someone with similar experiences to tell me that a few months of non-stop panic&anxiety womt affect me but i think it does, im Just panicking over the fact that i will have to deal with this and i dont always feel strong enough to face the things coming :/

15 Replies

Since you are better enjoy your life now. I dont think it will come back worse just because it's better for a while. Let's say it does, but nothing that you do now will keep it from coming back or not. Enjoy your moments now and try not to worry about it. I understand that being better is not your "norm" or what your used to but why wait for the other shoe to drop. I lived that way for a year after released from a mental institution. One day I had a complete mental breakdown and was acting completely insane. Don't know why, wasn't even very stressed then. Since I didn't know why, I was so scared that my brain would misfire as they called it again. It was a terrible way to live. It's been six years now and I now just live as best I can. It could happen again I guess but nothing I do now can change that. I will keep going as normal as long as I can. Still make plans and take it as it comes otherwise you'll waste time waiting for something bad to happen.

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to

I see your point and where you are coming from , but sometimes when i try to ignore my anxiety and go out or do anything , i just panic sometimes and i get these thought such as “you are stressed your blood pressure could be high” or “you might have a panic attack in public” and sometimes i get like physical symptoms like diziness and numbness and shirtness of breath, so i keep worrying even when i try to ignore it , i feel like my brain has more control sometimes

in reply to Kevin160

Your brain does have control. It's the fight or flight mode. Take little steps and repeat them to make it more comfortable at every stage. I take meds for anxiety and it helps me a lot with the physical symptoms the rest is mind over matter and there are lots of methods of exposure that might help. Look it up or maybe therapy if you have access. You're doing good. Give yourself credit for the accomplishments even if they are small.

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to

Thank you so much , i am proud of myself for some things, when this thing started i would no go through a day without panicking , i would measure my bp every waking minute , i would constantly think im dying and be afraid to sleep alone or do any activity , i do go out now but i just get anxious when i do , i can sit alone all the time its fine , whenever i measure my bp its mostly low , i had lost all my appetite and lost some weight , now i can eat normally again and have gained it back and i feel hungry again , i meditate and do breathing techniques, but i relapsed a couple times before this where i would just get panic attacks so severe and so frequent, i would panic at any thought good or bad, but my only problem now is that i still worry about anxiety a bit eventhough its lower now because its not gone, i keep worrying what if i die from this which is silly but i tend to overthink , i have control sometimes which is good, i feel calm many times throughout the day but i get heart palpitations sometimes amd shortness of breath and i just freak that it could be my heart or i could get a stroke , eventhough im young and healthy the idea bothers me because sometimes my bp spikes whenever im anxious , and its became sort of like a cycle, that im worried about stress itself so it doesnt go away ..thanks for the great advice , im going to try to calm down more and hope for the best

Calm_mama profile image

Hey Kevin! A few months of panic and non-stop worry won't affect you, guaranteed.

Our bodies are meant to handle intense stress. We were built for it. It doesn't feel normal but.... it's normal!

Setbacks are normal. Setbacks are your friend. More opportunities to practice!

Face, Float, Accept, Let time pass... :)

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to Calm_mama

Thank you, you always give me what i want to hear, its just some people when they try to support me they say things like , “stop worrying before it causes health problems” or “if you stay like this you can get this and that” and i know they mean well but it gets to my head sometimes that if a month of panic made me feel this bad, what if i stay like this ..its scary and tiring , thanks for reasuring me , you are amazing ;)

Jeff1943 profile image

The brave man dies once, the coward a thousand times. You're not a coward, you show your bravery every day by getting through it. But you know what I mean.

You are in perfect good physical health but are in danger of wasting some of the best years of your life.

Surely having a quick panic attack is preferable to this long drawn-out self torture of anticipating a panic attack.

You insist on focussing on the symptoms. You feel breathless, so what, it's just a feeling. Your heart is getting all the oxygen it needs, the breathlessness is just a phantom symptom of health anxiety.

If you want to waste your best years filling your thoughts with "what ifs" then that is your choice. You have every right to do that.

But I have always been guided by logic and I say that it's far more logical to accept all these phantom symptoms and concentrate your fire on the cause: anxiety. And take steps to control it and recover from it whereupon all the phantom symptoms will cease.

Remember the exit plan: Face - Accept - Float - And let time pass. Where have I seen those priceless words before recently?

Have you actually read up on 'floating' Kevin since last mentioned? Or have bp recordings taken precedence?

Taking bp readings for the nth time is not going to help you one iota. Finding out what's meant by acceptance and floating should be the only thing on your mind right now.

Just my opinion, of course. You're free to do whatever you like.

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to Jeff1943

Yes ofcourse i respect your opinion you are right , i dont want to always worry about what if but its so hard for me to , even the simple conversations with people when they ask simple questions like what im planning to study, or what im doing this summer, or next semester, or even next week, i would always think that i dont even know what is going to happen , and it starts again, i really want to get better and im doing so much ..during the last month its all been meditation , exercise, ..i do measure my bp sometimes, but i feel worse when i dont , because when i do and i manage to lower it its less scary than wondering if its high because it will spike on its own when u think about it, im measuring it less and less, like a couple times a day but when i measure it i feel less worried because i dont have to wonder and overthink , i really get mad with myself when i see myself wasting all this time worrying when i shouldnt because im healthy and i dont have that many reasons to be stressed all the time, but i feel like even when im calm i start shaking like its subconsious anxiety ..and even when i make progress its easy for it to all go away

Jeff1943 profile image

I'm a bit of a hypocrite, Kevin, I have to confess. I've got note books going back 30 years with chronological bp results in them, I've worn out 3 bp meters and am on my 4th.

I now see what a waste of time it was, it gained me nothing. Wouldn't want you to make the same mistake.

I took my blood pressure today because I'm going to see my doctor for my annual check up and when he takes it it will be 170 over 95. Then I can show him the bp figures I take at home which average 130 over 65 and my bp meter cost more than his🤗

Well the first reading was 165/70 and the second was 144/65 and the third reading 125/64. The reason for the first high reading was I started before I'd been seated for 5 minutes.

I don't give a damn, no sleep lost tonight.

Kevin you will not have a heart attack this side of 80, you will never have a stroke before becoming a grandfather and maybe not even then. I give you my personal guarantee.

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to Jeff1943

I threw my monitor away, i always known that deep down , i just needed an extra push, my family, you guys , anyone tells me it will be ok and it shows..thank you for the support i know deep down im fine and the only reason i measure bp is like a protection method because when i measure it and its low i feel safe, but now i dont care im going to get better ..just hope that this doesnt backfire, because im worried i would relapse because i tried this

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to Jeff1943

I truly respect you for this, you just said something i wished someone would tell me for months now

Orangeblossom85 profile image

I’m the same. It’s fear. Get to know why it appears, what causes it. Then you will feel better, easier. And after a while all your need to live fully will come back to you!

Kevin160 profile image

It appears whenever i think about how my stress affects me, whenever i get a symptom like a headache , shakiness, confusion and dizziness, i know i have a problem mentally so i know all the physical symptoms are from it because im heakthy physically , and whenever i get a symptom i get scared of panic attacks or a migraine or just high blood pressure and thats scary for me, so i know whats the problem its just that im so obssessed with it and its like a vicious cycle because im basically stressing over stress and how it affects me

Jack2728 profile image
Jack2728 in reply to Kevin160

Kevin, I am sorry to hear about your anxiety and panic. I have been dealing with some sort of this affliction for 35 years. I tried for years when I was young to figure out what I was "worried" about or what was bothering me. For me, that was a waste of time. The bottom line, something in my brain chemistry, wiring or whatever you want to call it is not "normal". Are we physically healthy - yes. But for the most part, we have limited control over the affliction. What matters is how we respond to it. Panic attacks are debilitating in so many ways, but knowing 100% that they will not harm you physically or be a long term detriment to your health is critical. When staring a panic attack, repeat to yourself that it is only panic and that you are 100% physically ok. When your feeling well, be truthful with yourself that you may have more attacks but that you will be ready for them because you know they will be short lived and afterwards you will be ok. If you are in good physical health, I strongly recommend aerobics or running. During my teens and early twenties when I was at my worst, I ran almost every day and worked out with weights three days per week - it was a true Godsend for me. Read everything you can about anxiety and panic, it will help. Stay on forums like this one, I wish they had these when I was younger - you are not alone. Lastly, I started taking some meds about 15 years ago that make me feel much better with my generalized anxiety. I am not for or against meds, each person has to determine their needs, but they help me a lot, I wish I had started them when I was younger. Everybody has shit in life, this is our shit. Try to minimize it as much as possible, but let's not pretend it isn't real - it's very real. I wish you all the best in your journey - keep fighting.

Kevin160 profile image
Kevin160 in reply to Jack2728

Thank you for all this support , you are amazing and the advices are great, i feel good to see people with similar problems getting through them and seeing how u dealt with it and what helped you , im going to keep fighting until i find what works

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