Alone And Tired

[Epicjinx]

I feel alone after overdosing on paracetamol I did severe liver damage and got treated. I sent away a medical forum for ESA and waiting on PIP. I'm so fed up about hearing jobs no one seems to believe me when I say about my health even doctors........ loosing weight despite eating. Really just want to give up eating. I'm so damn tired. I waited on money I should've applied earlier but can't do anything. I hate most things now. I've tried to live after this, but simply cannot be bothered anymore. Family expect me to go on but I'm struggling physically but I'm alone on this and fed up. Stupid suicidal thoughts don't go away and I'm tired of waking up in eating less but I'm not really seeing the point my body is consuming muscle mass on my arms so I'm becoming weaker and I know it.

[Windy101]

First, I hope you don't mind if I'm sending you a big, warm cyber hug. Here comes another one! (((((( )))))))

I'm not speaking in religious terms here, but sometimes you need that hope of a mustard seed. Just a speck of hope, that things will get better. Because you truly do not know what's just aorund the corner, who might come along and make all the difference.

DO NOT GIVE UP EATING. Eat as much as you can. Keep breathing. Follow the instructions for your liver. That's all you have to do. Keep a regular sleep schedule if you can.

You are your own best expert on what's happening to you right now. And I hear you that there are financial aid issues and I understand the pain in the ____ that is. Been there. But please, please, while you wait make taking care of yourself physically a priority. You can at least do that. You must do that, IMO.

I wish you all good things, dearest one, most of all a healthy and fulfilling future.

[Epicjinx in reply to Windy101]

I've tried to eat but it just seems futile. I thought things would maybe get easier but instead it's alot harder. Despite eating im loosing muscle mass and I feel crazy and wondering why I survived whilst alot of others died. I hoped things would maybw get better but that's sadly not the case. I'm truly giving up I can barely be able to work never mind just living.

[Windy101 in reply to Epicjinx]

I know you feel like giving up, but you please, please don't! We care about what happens to you. Please reach out for help.

[Epicjinx in reply to Windy101]

I haven't gotten much help for my condition as I believe it's permenant. I already have I can't do anything about my situation now.

[Windy101]

I'm so sorry. I am sending prayers your way. The one thing I've always found I can do no matter what is read something for inspiration. Sometimes I have to try a lot of titles before I find one that speaks to me, but a daily book of meditations or words of comfort has often helped me.