Am depressed. Again. Drug resistant depression. No insurance and not wanting to endure ECT or TMS again as I have pseudotumor cerebri and don't want to do anymore zapping to my brain.
Suicide has been a thought but to live in hell for eternity isn't appealing as living 40 years with depression is hell enough.
No friends. No income. No where to go. Am tired and the sad part is no one will care if I die.
They have never cared. People have treated me bad enough for long enough.
I keep praying for help yet nothing comes. My mind is again on its own and I really want out.
All of my life I have fought this battle and haven't conquered it yet or even managed to do better.
I'm tired and remorseful for my sins and prayed for forgiveness. Some way some how I have to end this pain.
My only option is to go away and never look back.
God have mercy because I can't take anymore and I have tried.