Trying

[Jmu331]

I feel like I've been trying to get back to myself for years, what started as post partum depression turned into depression and I already have had anxiety since I was a kid but now everything is just bad, I have no one because I just feel like a burden to everyone and I can't enjoy my children's lives as I thought I would, I just wish things would get better Idk what to do anymore, I just want to be able to be happy again.

[baretrees]

Hi jmu331, I feel your pain. I tell my husband all the time, I just want to be normal again! What happened to me? There's gotta be something to help us. Depression and anxiety suck so bad, and when they rob us off the ability to enjoy our children it's the worst. Are you in therapy or on any medication? I keep slugging along, trying to find the right combination of therapy and meds to get my old self back. Some people just don't get how debilitating this can be. I understand feeling like a burden. I'm really bad about talking to friends about this and always put on the fake smile. Is there anyone you can confide in? Or a therapist? I think there's gotta be something out there that can help. Keep looking for it. You deserve help.

[Endlessnightmare]

I feel the exact same way, I was such an involved supportive encouraging mommy, my oldest daughter had the best possible life full of love and happiness. When she was 2 we tried for another baby, when she was 6 I was pregnant with our second child. I became extremely sick and lost over 30 lbs during my pregnancy from a condition called hyperemesis (severe nonstop vomiting) I have been sick ever since. during a long battle with post partum depression my husband turned to drugs to cope with the stress of a sick wife, a new baby and a young daughter. His addiction destroyed our happy family, ruined our lives, he did horrible disgusting things that were unforgivable. I have lost everything I thought was so important, I am unable to provide my youngest daughter with any close to the life my oldest daughter had, and it is killing me. Even though my now ex husband is both of their dads he will only do things for our oldest daughter completely neglecting our 4 year old. I hate him so much he puts our children against one another and they fight uncontrollably over everything from toys to attention. my oldest daughter who was once the sweetest most loving empathetic lil girl tells her sister " daddy left cause he didn't want you" she will tell her " you ruined mommy, you almost killed her" she is so mean it is breaking my heart. my divorce took over 2 years which has left me with severe depression and anxiety. I often have panic attacks and been on rotating medications for years! I just want to be myself, give my daughters the mother they deserve not this broken weak sick half checked out unable to participate in their lives person I have become. I will do, try anything to get better. I just want to be happy again, I do not know what to do to get my life back. I do not know where to start or how to change things. I feel so lost, all alone, trapped. I see a Dr, therapist, and psychiatrist along with counseling (I have my daughters in therapy and counseling also) and I go to group meetings but nothing has gotten any better. this has to end soon if not now... I do not know how much longer I can go on like this... I can not take it anymore