Trying to cope with anxiety and depressing

[amberedge90]

My name is amber. I have anxiety and depression... I've been struggling with this for as long as I can remember... although it wasn't all too bad when I was a child in school. My anxiety and depression worsened as I got older. It's so bad it has caused me to have a skin picking disorder. I struggle day to day to not pick at the pimples on my face but at times I hardly know I'm doing it. Usually pick when my mind is racing. The picking makes me more depressed because I dig and pick so bad that my face at times will be filed with scabs the life I chose to live since I was 18 probably doesn't help ether... in a mental and emotional abusive relationship but I love him and have a 7 year old little boy with him which makes it harder to walk away. I have anxiety attacks when he threatens to leave me or if he cheats on me and I find which I am proaddicted to say that he hasn't in just a little over two years but that doesn't mean he won't again. He may have changed and stopped cheating on me but he is still a mean man. Puts me down. Always calling me names, yelling at me, having control over everything and can do what ever he wants when he wants no matter what I say. Acts like I'm his child instead of spouse. I'm so so tired all the time, major headaches that never go away but lighten up some times when I take medicine but they seem to be getting worse, neck pain, back pain... I just feel like sleeping all day every day and being by my self which I wish wasn't the case. I avoid people and I don't want to be like that. I want a social life and not to feel like I can't breath at times. This is a heavy burden I carry... so heavy. I have never been treated for this ether. I tried talking to my Dr about it but she threw me on some generic anxiety and depression pills that I took for months and never helped but she says it would not be healthy to switch... what ever that means so I am looking to change where I go for Dr appointments. A friend of mine recommend the dr office in chatham il so I think im going to call some time and get a appointment lined up. Ugh I could Wright so much more but really I'm not even sure this was ment for me to tell my hole life story...

Curious does any one suffer from skin picking disorder due to anxiety and depression?

[Percyblue]

No but I think all of us have some undesirable habit to deal with our anxiety and depression. I used to split the split ends of my hair and I was soooo obsessed with that. You and I have a lot in common. I had a real jerk for a husband years ago and I learned it was because I was attracted to men like my dad: verbally abusive, emotionally unavailable, sel-centered,etc. urge you to go online and try to find a therapist who will help you and perhaps takes payments through a sliding scale. Can you financially take care of you and your son without your man?That would be the best advice I can give. Don't give up. Good Luck!

[amberedge90 in reply to Percyblue]

I believe I can... it just seems so hard to walk away but I see what it is doing to me and my son that each day is becoming easier of the thought of leaving. I'm feeling I hate for him. It's beyond me why a man who says they love u can treat you like they hate u. If only I could walk away with out feeling the heartache of doing so

[howard327]

Amber,

You absolutely need a doctor that specializes in anxiety disorders and depression. That would be a psychologist or a psychiatrist, preferably the latter. Once that doctor helps you build up some self confidence you will be better able to work on your relationship. Get started with this as soon as you can. It is crucial for your future. You can do it!

[amberedge90 in reply to howard327]

I want to see some one but dealing with getting up and making that call. I'm tired all the time. I work midnights and deal with house chores and my son all alone... i need to do it though and stop with the excuses

[howard327]

To work on your problems think of your son first and do what is best for him. He is relying on you to take care of him. He has no other source of help. It takes courage to get the help you and your son need. Do you have the courage? I think you do.