First timer

[Yochi]

So I've never joined any of these community centers before, but I'm spiraling and figure l would try it out.

I've had depression for as long as i can remember, though help didn't help. I have stress control issues, which bring on tension headaches and migraines. Lately I've been extremely short tempered and recently reacquired panick attacks. So I'm a mess. I'm in a job that understands my need for flexibility (i also have 2 kids) and will never fire me, but I'm resenting the constant fight for a raise, the increasing work volume and knowing i can't leave it. I'm entering bankruptcy despite never spending on frivolous things. I'm exhausted all the time. Most days I feel like I'm disassociated from everything. I don't even know what i want. And now I'm breaking down and tired and having panic attacks for no reason. I don't have money for therapy, i don't have the time for a clinic. I just have nothing.

[Hidden]

I'm so sorry you are feeling so lost. I was in a similar situation not to long ago after I had my daughter I was working for a Terrible company. I wish I had advice to give but I am horrible with giving advice. Just know you have a whole community of people behind you that know what your feeling. It's good that you are reaching out to others. Hope things look up for you❤️

[Yochi in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. Nice to know I'm not alone. It helps in some way.

[LiaSmiles]

Have you tried speaking to wife about what you're feeling and going through? Or if you're divorced that's irrelevant.

[Yochi in reply to LiaSmiles]

I'm wife. I talk to my husband and he tries. But he's taken on so much I feel awful for complaining. He picks up the kids, plays with them all evening ( they're under 5), cleans up everything from dishes to toys, bathes them, grocery shops. I feel grateful and irrelevant.

[LiaSmiles]

Just trying to think of some additional support close by.

[LiaSmiles]

You can also try finding a free clinic to treat you. There are few where I live but they exist. Where are you located?

[Yochi in reply to LiaSmiles]

I've looked into it. I work too late for their hours and i can't take time from work to go to walk ins because the wait can be....

[LiaSmiles]

Apologize (all the Yochis I know are male. Shows how much I know). However, I don't think it's complaining if you're just stating what's going on and what you need. And if you're not sure what you need you might be able to explore different options together. He's your husband and I'm sure he only wants you to be happy and honest with him.

[Yochi in reply to LiaSmiles]

It's not that. He's amazing and we do talk. He's a fantastic support. I just think he's gotten a little lost in how to help so he does everything else instead to make up for it.

[gogogirl]

Have you tried contacting NAMI? Look up their website. Depending on where you are, they have peer run support ( in person) groups , and you can attend without cost.