Im new here...

[beeinthecit]

Hi! idk what im doing here to be quite honest. I just started being vocal about my mental health issues and figured an online support system would do me some good. The people around me have me on a pedestal and talking to them about something as simple as my feelings has become a daunting task. Its hard to talk about things you are going through when you are expected to be perfect all the time. I started going to therapy 9 months ago and it has changed my life. I know I am a totally different person and have learned so much about myself. Coping with GAD has become easier and it shows in my daily life I am told. For once I am being selfish with my time and i feel like "friends" arent really getting it. What do you do when the people around you dont understand? I have been a friend to many but i dont feel like anyone has been that person to me, i feel like they all expect something from me. I have literally given 1000 percent of me and it still doesnt feel like enough. I dont know what im even typing at this point. Does anyone even care, really? Is anyone really listening? I am here today because therapy is on wednesday and i feel like im about to f***n lose it.

[RiderontheStorm]

To be honest I have been there too. Been a much better friend to others than what I have received in return. Had to learn self soothing and staying present. Having gone thru a medical crisis and came out of the other side doing well has tempered my expectations. Feeling so thankful that I can breath and walk again, but not far. Don't have to have all the answers in my pocket, I know in time I will have them. After being so physically strong and well off people don't know how to take me any other way other than being the very independent type. One hour and one day at a time. Just because you think it does not make it true. Have not done well with SIRI meds or their side effects. I am on none now. Counseling has helped.

[beeinthecit in reply to RiderontheStorm]

Talk therapy has really helped me too. I haven't been on meds for a solid 9 months. Meditation and mindfulness help me remain present. Sometimes I go down the rabbit hole but I quickly find my way back because of my mindfulness practice. But yes, one moment at a time and really getting anxious doesn't solve anything so that's something Im learning to keep in check.

[hypercat54]

Hi nice to meet you and welcome to the site. It sounds more like not your friends putting you on a pedestal but much rather they are using you for their own needs. I think you are the one expecting yourself to be perfect not them but perfection doesn't exist so you are setting yourself up for a fall there.

It also sounds like you are a people pleaser which is very common amongst us depressed folk. The way out of this is to actively seek friends who want a more equal relationship ie one based on give and take and not just take. These are healthy relationships.

Other peoples needs can be endless and you will never be able to satisfy their demand so it's a mugs game trying. All you can do is please yourself.

Find some new friends is my advice! x

[beeinthecit in reply to hypercat54]

Definitely making space for new friends and working on pleasing myself instead of others. Working on boundaries too, that's really helped.

[jennicole31]

Hi friend,

I can relate to you. I've been there when people thought I was so wise and perfect. Everyone would come to me for answers to their problems but no one ever seemed to be there for me. I had issues too, but, I didn't know where to look for answers. I loved helping people but, I just needed someone to help me too. So, I felt led to seek God through the Bible. It's been a journey, but I have found myself and God has helped me get to the root of my problems. I can now freely help people without feeling jealous or any negative emotion. I can say that I now know when I'm being taken advantage of and when I need to simply tell some people "no." You're not alone. People do care because there's others going through the same battle. Joining this site shows that you're working on you and not allowing people to ultimately break you. I think that everything is going to get better in time as you grow and learn more about yourself and dealing with others. I hope that everything works out!

[beeinthecit in reply to jennicole31]

Prayer and meditation have definitely helped me find some answers. It's a journey but it's worth going on. Thank you for your words.