I AM LOST!!!

I am new! I posted everything about me & my anxiety & depression that I have been dealing with on my profile & have added some people that I am following.

I had to stop working when I was over-medicated by a "crazy psychiatrist" from 2012-2013, it took a year with my regular psychiatrist (2014) to get off the 9 medications, then I spent all of 2015 going from doctor to doctor trying to figure out why I was having seizures. During this time I didn't have the OPTION to get out & about and LIVE because I was dealing with so many medical issues. After starting therapy in February 2012 I did begin to get better, but my life is so different NOW then it was before 2012. I see things differently! My values & what it important to me in life have completely changed. BUT - I am afraid to GET OUT THERE & DO THE THINGS I NEED TO DO TO HELP MYSELF!

I do not work & I stay in the house ALL OF THE TIME! I know that is one of my biggest problems. I have too much time to THINK!

Is there anyone else out there that has anxiety & depression that is so debilitating that they can't work & are afraid of "socializing?" Also, has anyone felt like medication just doesn't work at all.

[Jenmomof3]

Good Morning. There was a time when I first started having anxiety and panic attacks that I became agoraphobic. I didnt leave my house ever. And even going outside made me panic. My parents and my husband pretty much had an intervention and made me leave. They would drag me out to stores and walks and I would be a wreck and ended up going to sit in the car and have my panic alone. But, each time I went it got a little easier and easier. I had less panic and challenged myself when I felt anxious to stay in that store a little longer or to walk a little farther. It was so hard and I thought I would die or pass out and that I would never make it, but I did! Now I can go to places and do things again. It took a long time, dont get me wrong. And sometimes I still have a really hard time going places, especially if its far from home, crowded or if I am by myself. But the point is to never keep trying. Start small with a small walk down the street from your house. Go until you are comfortable then turn around. When you go shopping, take someone you feel comfortable with. And after you go a few times, wander the a different department alone, but still have that comfort knowing youre not alone. After you feel you can go with someone and not feel anxious or panicky, try going somewhere alone, I know you can do this! If I can, so can you!!! Trust me, I never thought I would have a life again, but now I work and hang out with friends. I take my kids shopping and things. I still have anxiety daily, and there are days where I feel like I just can go or deal with it, but somehow, I always make it. Just use your senses to make you feel grounded, positive self talk and deep breathing and you will be just fine. Hope this helps.

-Jen

[Hidden in reply to Jenmomof3]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ADVICE!!!

My depression started when I was 16 years old. My anxiety started when I was about 20 years old. I never developed agoraphobia when I had to deal with the panic attacks & anxiety back then.

When I had to go through the whole ordeal with being stuck in the house because of being over-medicated & dealing with that situation from 2012 - end of 2015 that is when I didn't leave the house. THEN - after I started therapy I took "baby steps" with the help of my mom to get out & about.

Today - I am able to go out & about by myself. I go to stores, restaurants, etc. I prefer not going to the mall, but I don't really shop in the stores at the mall anyways. I have to take "baby steps," but it has gotten easier. To me, it is more of meeting people out - "socializing!" I get severe anticipatory anxiety about this!

What I am SO FRUSTRATED ABOUT is the fact that I am unable to work without FREAKING OUT!! I have been on disability since January of 2015. My therapist & psychiatrist tell me that it is okay. That a "job should not define who I am!"

I believe this, BUT IT IS HARD FOR ME TO ACCEPT! In the past my life revolved around my career (I have never been married & have no children). I went to University of South Carolina & started working in Property Management right after I graduated. My life revolved around working 12 hour days, going out for drinks in the evenings & weekends, hanging out with friends & gambling (drinking & gambling made it easy to cope with my anxiety & depression)! I have not gambled since 12/31/2011 & I have not had a drink since 2012.

Yes - I have had depression & anxiety since the age of 16 years old, but all of the issues started when I had to change psychiatrists for 2 years (2012-2013), because the one I have been seeing for so long got very ill at the age of 38 (I am 44 now)! I did stop the gambling & stopped drinking - which is a good thing but I feel like I just don't want to be around people anymore! And I feel like this should not be such a BAD THING! I want to be alone, but then again - I am lonely!! I do live with my mom & dad and they are my biggest supporters & my mom is my best friend!

[Hidden]

I haven't had any drugs for my anxiety. I am an herbalist. There are many natural remedies you can look into. Work 2 days a week to start. How about starting with a volunteer job? Whatever you would love to do... Do it! If you start with something you love, it can change your feelings.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

As soon as I get back from my vacation with my family, which will be next Saturday, I will be starting volunteering every Thursday at The Heritage at Lowman Home, which is an extended living home, nursing home & hospice care. I will be doing the arts & crafts class at the nursing home! Starting out it is only 1 activities class per week, but after a few weeks they will give me the opportunity to look at other activity groups they need help with, so I can do more!

This will be PERFECT! I love helping others! It's going to be very fulfilling & empowering to me! And, it will allow me to help others & make them smile, which is really important to me in what I do!

I am very EXCITED!!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That's Great! I'm very happy for you!