I found it on my mother's bookshelf. She had been no stranger to anxiety attacks herself, you see. I began to read.
"If you are reading this book because your nerves are in a bad way you are the very person for whom it has been written and I shall therefore talk directly to you as if you were sitting beside me."
That opening sentence appealed to me. I read on.
"It will not be difficult for you to read this book: it is about you and your nerves, and for this reason you will read it with interest, whereas to read an ordinary book may seem an impossibility."
I was beginning to feel that the writer knew me personally. And she was using psychology as well as psychiatry. I turned the page.
"I have no illusions about you: I am not writing this book for the rare brave people, but for you, probably a sick, suffering, ordinary human being with no more courage than the rest of us."
There was a line in capital letters. It contained the promise we all seek.
"THE ADVICE GIVEN HERE WILL DEFINITELY CURE YOU, IF YOU WILL FOLLOW IT."
So I did. Follow it, that is. In that slim volume were chapters on: Cure of recurring nervous attacks, Nervous illness complicated by problems, That dreaded morning feeling, Depression, Loss of confidence, Difficulty in contacting other people and Advice to the family.
By the time I had finished reading I felt I had died and been born again. I knew from the book my recovery would take time, great things are not easily won. But I also knew things would never be the same again. I began to practice the writer's road plan for recovery: Face - Accept - Float - Let time pass.
The late Claire Weekes kept her promise to me, today I pass on her teachings to others to make of them what they will.
Written by
Jeff1943
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Hi Agora1, yes anxiety runs in my mother's side of the family going back to Victorian times. It was called neurosthenia in those days and my mother told me some had it so bad they couldn't work. In 1975 I would have been 32, anxiety had made itself known to me the previous year when I had my one and only panic attack.
I never saw my mother having panic attacks but was aware as a child she suffered from her nerves.
It's kind of interesting how it was handled differently back then, and yet Claire Weekes' writing still feels applicable. My dad never saw a therapist or received any support for his anxiety and depression. He just coped on his own for years, and eventually it faded away. My mom was medicated for a short time, after she started having anxiety after a big move for our family, and job change for her. We moved back to our original home state, and her anxiety improved, so she went off the medication. My mom told me *her*mother refused to acknowledge that it was a mental issue: she claimed it was physical due to the higher elevations in the state we moved to. And yet... my grandmother also struggled with nerves, and was prescribed tranquilizers "as needed" in her younger years. I don't think any of the three of them ever went to therapy.
I think it's good we're more open about these things now, but it makes it "Hope And Help For Your Nerves" all the more impressive to me.
I don't think it's a learned behaviour in my case, Agora1, I think it's a genetic inherited tendency in many cases but the tendency becomes diluted as we pass from one generation to another. In my case my mother, unknown ancestors before her, one daughter and one grandson have anxiety disorder to some degree.
My Father died this year at the age of 90.I obtained his medical records for my siblings and I as he had chronic heart disease.
Now I recall when I was little that my dad was always shouting, and at times he wouldn't eat. I later learned from my mother that his uncle died from throat cancer and my dad constantly worried he had it too.
On reading notes as far back as 1961 the doctor wrote "this man is suffering from neurosis, and unfortunately he is transferring his anxiety to his wife and child!"
Mdad mentions that my grandad was a very agitated person too, although I don't recall as I was only 7 when he died. I do know that my dad took valium most of his life. And I suffered anxiety as a teenager.
So, is it hereditary or is it learned?!
I don't think I've passed this on to my children as I hid it, but maybe they suffer too and hide it from me.
It is such a hard thing to to live with.
Thanks for your post, I have Claire Weekes book, I bought it in the 80's, I read it, it helped me, I gave it away, not ever thinking I'd need it again, but I do, so I have another copy.
I think some anxiety disorder is a one-off reaction to too much stress, some is genetic meaning we inherit too little or too much of some hormone like serotonin and yes I'm sure that some is nurture based meaning we learn it from parents. So we can take our pick!
I agree, I think it's both. My dad had agoraphobia and self medicated the nerve to leave his house with alcohol back in the mid 60's. I wish he knew about this book back then. (I wish I knew about it about 25 years ago too) His alcoholism almost killed him until he went to AA about 25 years later. I have GAD with occasional panic attacks. 3 out of 4 of my children have the same but how they react to it is so different from each other. My oldest daughter freaks out and calls me crying. My oldest son hides it and keeps it all inside as well as he can and doesn't like to talk about it. My youngest son has a panic attack and doesn't let it interfere with his life. He never read Claire's book but naturally floats (thanks goodness) and you would never know he was having a panic attack. My youngest daughter amazingly doesn't have anxiety disorder at all. It runs rampant in my family. I have many cousins with various digestive disorders all related to high anxiety. SMH We're dealt certain cards and have to accept and cope with it the best that we can. Afterall, it could be so much worse of an inherited disorder. It's hard some days but I try to keep everything into perspective. Great post as usual Jeff, thank you!
It was 1984 for me. My parents, siblings and friends all had no clue what I was talking about. The family doctor prescribed me stomach muscle relaxants (you can guess how effective that was...the pharmacist even said "are you sure you need these?").
Months went by. Then I was in a bookstore desperately looking for answers, and there it was, just one single book among the shelves that caught my attention (as opposed to now where there are way too many).
I first felt relief that I was not the only one on the planet with this condition. I then plowed through the book and practiced and practiced, gradually improving week after week, month after month, until one morning I felt strange. Something was gone. It was my anxiety disorder. I had finally recovered.
And my disorder remained gone for over three decades. I thought I was immune. Then something happened in my life, and anxiety and panic slammed me again like a ton of bricks.
And so I'm going through the same process again, gradually recovering, except this time I don't feel so alone, especially with all my kindred spirits here on this forum.
(Side note: When I bought the Claire Weeke's book in 1984, the title was Peace from Nervous Suffering. Now the title is Hope and Help for your Nerves. I think it's basically the same book, just with a different title from then to now.)
That's a very interesting story teemo1, yes anxiety recovery is always a work in progress, it can reoccur specially if there is an inherited tendency but as Weekes said once you had recovered once you were cured because if it comes back you know the ropes for ridding yourself of it.
'Peace from nervous suffering' is the second book she wrote, the first is titled 'Self help for your nerves' here in Blighty and the same book is titled 'Hope and help for your nerves' in the U.S. of A.
Same here! 1985 I was in the ER and the nurse said you need a psychiatrist. I’ll never forget her face. I drank everyday to keep calm, thinking I was crazy. I opened a book and it described all my symptoms and said “ you may not be insane “. I quick shut it and never read a book on anxiety again. It wasn’t until a day after high school Oprah had on a episode about panic attacks!! I feel sorry for people back in the day that we’re probably told they were insane, just like me. I’m 51.., whenever I get an attack , I still think “ maybe I am just crazy”. She was a horrible person
Anxiety is a paradox in so many ways. The more you struggle with it and fight it and want it to go away, the more power it has. The less you care about it, the weaker it gets. The day you genuinely stop caring about it is the day you recover.
Then there's this fear of "going crazy" that we anxious folks deal with. This is another enormous irony. Any modern psychologist who specializes in anxiety will tell you that "crazy" people have lost touch with reality and believe themselves to be perfectly sane. Anxiety sufferers are the opposite...too much in touch with reality, which causes us to have this fear!
You can follow this link for much more on this (I throw this article around a lot because it helps me to keep referring to it, so you may have seen it already).
"The more you fight it, the more power it has. The less you care about it, the weaker it gets." You are so right teemo1 even though it takes a lot of understanding, reassurance and practice to arrive at the stage of "the day you genuinely stop caring about it is the day you recover."
That of course is what Acceptance addresses. We learn to live with it in order to live without it.
Teemo1, I read the article you gave the link for, it's brilliant and should be read by everyone who has high anxiety and panic attacks. Thank you for this valuable link.
Teemo1 Thank you for sharing your story. You are an inspiration. For the record, I fully believe what Dr. Weekes says re: a setback. "It gives you a chance to once again practice what you have already learned". I think recovery is smoother the 2nd time around and it is of course completely assured. It's like riding a bike. My best wishes to you!
Eventually when you have a setback, instead of thinking "oh no, anxiety's back," you start thinking "oh good, a chance to practice!" Anxiety HATES when you have a welcoming attitude towards it. It robs it of so much power.
A friend just sent a well used book on to me. I like used books. People have left their vibe in them. I shall be discussing things with Ms. Weekes tomorrow over tea. Thank you for sharing.
I think for some anxiety can be genetic. (My son is his father.) For me I don’t have much but head injuries and single mother of many plus healthcare worker ptsd is my story and I’m sticking to it.
Very amazingly too! Very good book I would say never read but can relate my journey with 40 yrs anorexia,began 7 yrs in Jan 2020 the journey to recovery no way was it easy but the outcome much greater now stress causes me to hear those ed ugly lies again I now can fight back and I am much greater than it ever was treatment with wonderful doctor and therapist gave me my armor my shield to fight. I win no those eating disorder voices anorexia is tough a true fighter I have become to survive
Just wanted to say...you are a very good writer Jeff, your posts read really well. Today's post I felt took me on an adventure. Have you thought of writing..either articles or a book
Just looked an Amazon for the book you mentioned, can't wait to read it....n maybe one day read your book?
Thank you Jo, I was an advertising writer for 40 years and a political propagandist too. I also wrote a novel but nobody has a panic attack in it🤗
Everything I write is based on the teachings of Claire Weekes so anything I would write in a book has already been said by a far greater authority than me. Thanks again.
I agree that your posts read well. I too suffer from anxiety and panic. It all hit me out of the blue 4 years ago. It has been a really hard journey. The Claire weeks book was the first I bought. I think I will pull it back out and read it again. No one can truly understand what it is like unless they have experienced it themselves. I have improved a lot but still have a long way to go. I read every book I can and check the forums for reassurance that I am not going crazy. That is my worst symptom. When in the grips of panic, I cannot think clearly and want to just run. I don't know where I am going or what I am running from but I just want to get away. I remember my Mom being nervous a lot but never really thought much of it because she hid it really well. She was a tough, strong lady, never scared of anything. A lot of things make sense to me now that didn't before my struggles. Please keep posting, it helps a lot of us still going through this journey.
Thanks, cortisolqueen. Can I just add that nobody recovers from anxiety disorder and panic attacks by reading a book, even books by Doctor Claire Weekes. We recover by reading the book and then spending weeks putting into practice what the book teaches us
Reading is easy, practicing Acceptance is hard work but as I always say not as hard as putting up with the symptoms of anxiety month after month.
Crazy people don't know they are crazy. People who think they're going crazy can never go crazy. Any psychiatrist should tell you that.
Even if your anxiety is inherited from your mother mastering Acceptance allows you to nip it in the bud at an early stage should it return.
Cortisolqueen, I hope you find and re-read Claire Weekes' book and it allows you to change your perception of how to handle anxiety disorder.
Face - Accept- Float - Let time pass. Once you have mastered these you will get your life back.
Just to be clear, the Claire Weekes book is titled 'Self help for your nerves' in the U.K. and the same book is titled 'Hope and help for your nerves' in the U.S., both available new or used from Amazon.
Don't be thrown by the fact it was written many years ago when social customs were different, as they say: the past is a foreign country, they did things different there.
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