I'm new here, and I'm not sure if anyone will read this, but I really just need to get this out. I've been suffering from anxiety and depression for most of my life, and recently it has gotten worse. About 2 months ago, I checked myself into a mental hospital, because I wanted to kill myself. Since then, nothing has changed about how I feel. I have yet to be able to find a psychologist, because they all seem to be fully booked. I already have anxiety, and the tireless phone calls to my insurance and providers have been exhausting. I'm barely functioning, and I can barely take care of my day to day needs, let alone get a job or have a social life. The only relief I seem to have is self-harm or sleep... these obviously aren't helping. I feel like I'm being thrusted into adulthood, and I don't feel at all prepared.
I picture myself going to grad school and moving out of my parents house, but those both seem unattainable considering that I can barely leave my bed. Every little thing sets me off, and I find myself hiding in my room, away from the real world. I wan't to get better, but at this point it doesn't seem possible.
I'm not really sure what my point of writing this was, or what I'm looking for. I just need someone to know whats going on, without judging me.