New to the Group

[CaptainCrunch]

I found this group yesterday and have already been posting to some. I have OCD and depression. Go to both a psychiatrist and a therapist. I am on meds and they do seem to help.

Through therapy I have realized just how pessimistic and negative I have been my entire life. I never even knew my thinking could be wrong or even questioned the thoughts in my head. For 40 years I have allowed my fears and emotions to run my life with no thought of this being wrong. So now for the first time I am trying to take control of the thoughts I have and avoid the compulsions that once comforted me and reassured me and made me feel safe.

This whole thing is so completely hard, Frustrating, and discouraging. I have the hardest time getting out of bed. I feel like a failure most of the time. I feel like I need to be perfect and no matter how good I do I could have always done better. And that sometimes life is so hard what's the point of going on.

Yes... these are my thought and my feelings. But I have a bit of hope they are not true and in time I will get better and stronger. I am not there yet but I am so encouraged to read other's posts and know I am not alone and there are others that feel the same as I do. I hope God blesses everyone who finds this site and helps them to persevere and find the help they are looking for.

[bluebayou]

Hey Captain. You're not alone. I struggle with the same feelings of failure and desire to be perfect. I'm glad you're reaching out. Sometimes it helps me stop my negative thought spiral if I think of at least one good thing I've experienced or done and focus on it. Like a really beautiful sunset or how I at least finished doing the dishes before falling asleep haha

[LMCello]

You sound a lot like me, especially the getting out of bed part! If you'd like, we can challenge each other and keep each other accountable for this. For instance, I would like to be up and moving around and not get back in bed after 10:30am tomorrow. What time would you like to be out of bed tomorrow? We can check on each other if you'd like...

[CaptainCrunch in reply to LMCello]

Sounds good... 8:00 a.m. should work for me.

[LMCello in reply to CaptainCrunch]

Alrighty. I'll check back in tomorrow and see how you did!

[LMCello in reply to LMCello]

Well, I didn't meet my goal that day. But I have had two days of staying out of bed during the day, thanks to my husband. Today I am up and being productive before 10:30. How have you been doing getting up?

[CaptainCrunch in reply to LMCello]

Sorry I hadn't replied sooner. I was able to get up. Mornings are challenging. Today wasn't as bad as others. Thanks for checking. How was your morning?

[LMCello in reply to CaptainCrunch]

It was great! Usually I stay in bed til noon at least or just get up to do something really quick like feed the dog and then I slump back in bed. Today, for some reason, I stayed up and got moving right away. Maybe because my husband asked me to pack him his lunch and my boss texted me that she might need me to come in early. I just started doing chores around the house. And my house looks clean for the first time in months! The other cool part was that I was able to train my puppy how to act in the house and he did awesome! I just kept puttin off doing that because I had motivation and it just seemed like such a big project. He's fully grown, like 65lbs and SO strong. Today was great. I hope tomorrow will be the same. Getting my house clean makes me feel like I CAN accomplish big things.

[ShadowWalker]

My go to is " My life is run by Murphy's Law". Especially these past 4 years. Everything that can go wrong, Has is techno color. With strobe lights and a disco ball. That being said, I still try to focus on what I can control. Like my temper, how I talk to others, what I eat ( trying to keep it healthy and not to much chocolate) I try to learn something new each day and I try very hard to stay away from things that I know will have a genitive impact on my outlook and mood ( family, sappy commercials, Trump, my health issues, losing mouse, and the list goes on and on). I do what I can to improve my situation. I found a storage unit, got my disability and it comes with Medicaid so I can get my surgeries and meds and even see a shrink and I found somewhere to live till I can get another house. I have found music helps my mood swings too. So I have a few folders with songs I know help in them. Around 20 hours total. So when not listening to audio books, I am on music, or old George Carlin stand up concerts. Sometimes even Abbott and Costello. Right now I am in a RatPack phase. You have to find what works for you. Mine used to be walking the dogs. I am not able to do that these days. My body wont let me. So Music, comedy and audio books from the library. And chocolate low fat frozen yogurt, LOL