Sleeping pills

[Noel_S]

Im not good at writing but ill try..

I try my best to keep my head up and always put that smile on my face…. but sometimes it hard to hold that smile, and tears slowly come pouring down my eyes… there are times when i feel like i had enough and just give up and say my good byes…. But im still holding on that hope that maybe one day everything will get better..

Im 32 with 3 beautiful daughters… I’ve been with my wife for more than 10 years and shes my world my queen my everything…. but for the past 2 years our relationships has been going down hill… dont really want to go on with details… but soon we are going to be moving to our own separate homes,, yes we are getting separated…. everything is going to be okay we are best friends and we don’t hate each other she said…. but she doesn’t know how much sadness i have in me..and that sadness became my depression now that depression is slowly telling me just sleep and hope to never wake up…….

my wife and my kids is all i have in this world and soon things will change…. i just dont want to be alone.. im scared that one day ill come home and no one is around and maybe that hope that im holding is no longer there.. then maybe thats the day that i would go to sleep and never wake up….. (sleeping pills)

[Hidden]

Hi I am sorry you are going through such a stressful tramatic time. You will never be truly alone coz you have your beautiful children and you will still be able to see them won't you? Ok you might have to learn to live on your own but you will always have them.

Are you working at the moment? Are you seeing a doctor and/or a counsellor? If not then I think that would be a good idea. There is help out there so don't give up hope please.

[Noel_S in reply to Hidden]

Yes i wor, I dont know what to do.... im so use to coming home knowing my family are home...replying to this is making me cry i dont even know why.... i just feel like its getting worse and worse... i just dont want to be alone

[violetgenie in reply to Noel_S]

Noel, do you have a close family member or good friend that you can call about how you are feeling right now? I know it can be so hard to open up, but you are experiencing a lot of life changes and grief right now.

Someone needs to know about this, and be your backup.

It is better to go through these major life changes with a partner who will hold us accountable for making sure we are attending counseling and taking care of ourselves. Can you think of someone in your circle?

[Noel_S]

I did talk to someone about it few people who are close to me.. but they all say the same exact thing "everything will be okay".... so i just keep everything to my self.... and i dont know what else to do....

And my youngest daughter is also battling APL leukemia and shes only 6.. sometimes i dont even want to think about my self just my kids specially the youngest one.... i cant im sorry this is making me cry....

[Roseadaa]

Noel_s

You need to see a doctor and tell them everything that you wrote over here. Some times friends can't help because they never went through we are going through, so please take care of your self for you and your daughters. I am sure they love and they need you more than anything. Hope you feeling better.

Peace!