Feeling guilty

[nmn1024]

Hello all. My story is long so bear with me. I have suffered from depression for about 35 years. I finally got it under control with meds and have been doing well for a long time. My daughter moved in with me and had her daughter who is now 8 months old. When the baby was born my daughter was diagnosed with manic depression. The first time she was hospitalized she left her daughter with me because there was no one else. At age 62 I was overwhelmed because caring for a 6 month old was not something I was prepared for. I called her counselor at the hospital just looking for some support and they called DCF. Between and friend and I we were able to care for the baby. Well my daughter came home but she was no better and ended up going into the hospital 2 more times. She ended up having ect and she is doing almost 100% better. The third time she went into the hospital DCF called and they took the baby away and gave her to her father, I was devastated by all this. Well now that my daughter is doing so well and wants her baby back. Well DCF advised the father to file for custody which he did. After speaking to a couple of lawyers it doesn't look like she is going to get the baby back. She is devastated but is holding up pretty well. I just feel so much guilt for calling the counselor and having DCF called and knowing she probably won't get her baby back. Although my daughter doesn't seem to hold this against me I feel such tremendous guilt because DCF got involved. I am having a really hard time right now. We can't afford a lawyer to help us and are stuck. I just can't stand the guilt I feel. My daughter is 40 years old and this is her last baby. She moved in with me when my husband died 8 months ago.

[FixingThePineapple]

I'm so sorry this is happening and I'm sorry for the guilt you feel. I understand what it's like to have a tremendous weight pressing down on you, making you feel bad inside and out. But I'm glad you shared your story here, expressing your feelings is very important, even through writing.

I hope things get better for you and your daughter.