It's time..

[Rb0311]

I have tried I have prayed I have tried to walk my path with God only to be over taken by depression and anxiety... I am tired I am defeated and I am now watching my ex husband and his new girlfriend pull my boys away because they have a stable and fun environment while I struggle daily to keep afloat... the time has come for me I can't do this anymore for years I have tried mybwat but a girl can only stand back and pretend to be strong for so long... my mind is my worst enemy always has been I called to talk to him at 4:30 yesterday morning to be laughed at with his sarcastic laugh and be told once again I am not following Christ and I will never be any better.. maybe he is right he wins.. but damn I tried.

[BELAwesome]

He is saying he doesn't think you are following Christ and laughing cause he thinks he's better than you? That doesn't sound kind or any loving thing to do but condescending.

[BELAwesome]

Having depression or anxiety doesn't mean you couldn't be a Christian or don't have faith..

[Hidden in reply to BELAwesome]

I'm a Christian and boy have I had depression and anxiety over the last year. If I'm honest it did make me question my faith but more because of the way Christians reacted to it, which to be honest sounds like your ex. He. Doesn't sound like he's a real Christian otherwise he would not be so harsh with you when he can see you are struggling.. Perhaps someone at your church can help if you are honest about how low you feel . They might be able to keep you company and stop you feeling so bad

[Rb0311 in reply to Hidden]

I would love to be able to turn to my church but that's not possible I have tried and the reaction hasn't been the best. Not only is the pastor my ex husbands good friend he is his boss at work. The church consist of me , my ex, his mom, brother, sister in law there kids plus of course other members. I continue to go because my boys love the church and are very active in the church my youngest is in the worship team and sings every Sunday and calls me every Sunday morning to make sure I am awake to come ( I work nights) and that's the only night they spend over night with there dad. So yes church is the hardest day of the week for me when it shouldn't be at all. Today being Father's Day I went I took a small bag of candy and a card for my ex the card just said thank you for being a good dad and I just wanted to thank him for the boys. Nothing was said I text him after church and apologized for my hand writing due to a recent arm surgery and I got back thanks... that was all on Mother's Day I got a text after church that said I don't know if I told you but happy Mother's Day I didn't want a gift I wanted just some acknowledgement from him I did have his boys and he did love me at one time. I have ask him several times to just talk to me I need some closure so I can try to forgive myself, move on and try to live my life. There is so much involved in my marriage and divorce I just need some closure.

[tamka38]

Please don't give up is only a time and God love u so much.things will get better for u I will pray for u

[tamka38]

Most of us realize that our own strength is not always enough to get through some of the situations that this life brings. At those difficult times, it is wise to call on God for extra strength and for His strength to help sustain you when your own strength fails

[Shutterfly]

He has not right to judge you! Your Faith is between you and God. You have to find away to let your ex go. You deserve to have better people in your. life. People that want to bring out the best in you.

[Rb0311 in reply to Shutterfly]

I have someone in my life that would do anything in the world for me... idk how to let go idk how to get the images to stop.

[Rb0311]

I am the one that divorced him for several reasons but now that I have been divorced I can see why I was so lost I didn't know how to deal and cope with death. When I divorced my ex went straight to church that church is full of his side of the family, him, the pastor is in boss at work and me.. I go because my son sings for the worship team every weekend. But when I called him last night trying to gain some closure I was laughed at I was told that yes he failed but so did I.. he is right but how can he help everyone around him to find there walk but he can watch me drown just like when we where married he can admit his faults but yet still do them now.. like I said I am sitting back watching my sons make a new life with him, church, his family I feel like I have become a place they just have to go to my heart is broke My mind in torture uts been a long time since these feelings have came back to me but here they are I am face to face with them I feel defeated and so so tired.. I miss my family and I can't have them back and they are my life. I am scared but I am also so tired I don't see the point of this anymore I see myself hurting and hurting and this just going on and on I can't make it stop.

[Daisy1967 in reply to Rb0311]

I really relate to what you are talking about. I worked at a family business with my ex husband and our family. Because of his cheating and lying, I had to leave the job and marriage. But now I just feel lost. He still gets everything, and gets to work with our kids every day. His new wife works there now. My kids seem to prefer him to me now. When they always preferred me before. But I don't have all the money anymore.....It is infuriating that I didn't do anything wrong, yet I'm the only one with consequences. And I am fearful of going places, don't want to run into the ex and his new wife. My anxiety and depression are through the roof too! I am brand new to this site, so I don't have any advice to give you yet. But I really liked the suggestions by the others, and plan to try those.. But I just wanted you to know you aren't alone!

[Shutterfly]

You still have your your sons keep being apart of their lives. A parent can never be replaced.

[Meeasy]

That's an ignorant response by him. This has nothing to do with faith. Let him go and focus on yourself. If that's his attitude You'll be happier in the long term. You need recovery

Here are some of my tools . These are suggestions that work for me Your results may vary

- excercise releases your brains natural anti anxiety/ depessant chemicals. Rigorous enough to get to heavy breathing and blood flow. It can be as simple as jogging in place or climbing stairs

- diet changes. Caffeine and sugar work against you

- meditation , I use podcasts and YouTube videos to find guided meditations, self hypnosis and inspirational self affirmation. Use the search bar. Get a podcast app

- stay connected, don't isolate. Find Meetup groups, forums, recovery , church, etc to express your feeling and get feedback

-Volunteer or support or encourage others is a good practice. doing things for others gets you out of ruminating about yourself.

- attitude of gratitude. As hard as it is, it could always be worse. I make gratitude list to remind myself of my blessings.

- write it down. Keep a journal, dig deep. Write letters to yourself, to god, your resentments, your fears, your inner child etc. be your own therapist. It's cheap

Avoid news, politics, and advertisements They all use fear to control your emotions

Avoid social media. Don't fall into the trap of comparing your insides with other people's outsides

Try Q96 brain supplements. Google it. I have not gotten dramatic results but I know people who have

With or without medication these tips have no negative side effects Good luck

[poodlelover81]

My father was also condescending and my parents split. They were some of my mom's roughest days.You're not alone, I know it's rough. Don't listen to your husband. You are strong and I believe in you.

[Reamak]

I feel you completely, I'm in a similar boat everyday is a struggle I've been hurt so much in my life and I see the people around me who hurt me so bad and destroyed me moving on living great lives and I can't catch a break just look at your boys and know that anything you do to yourself can land them in the same amount of pain and suffering you bear for the rest of their lives

[Daisy1967 in reply to Reamak]

I can relate to you. And you make an excellent point of not wanting to cause pain for my kids! I am trying to be extra cautious about that! .

[Reamak]

Don't give upon them

[Rb0311]

It's so hard to see them all go together and be so happy I know that's what my kids want.. with him they have church, boat, fun, with me I work nights , I don't have the money he has mind you he just inherited money... I have a home, they have chores here and have to help me out.. all of them hang out together plus a huge group from church that won't even accept my request on fb let alone hang out together. It's very hard and I am a major cross road with what to do..

[Mireyaozzieg]

Possibly considering change the environment by going to a new church where your faith can grow just saying that church does not have to be yours.