I'm going straight to the point: depression and anxiety are destroying me, from the inside out. I have been almost six months in this state of self-hatred, pain, numbness, solitude, all that fun stuff. And I really don't know how to deal with this: I'm fearing for my life, when I'm in my good moments, because in the bad moments I fear living. I'm scared of what can happen to me if I don't find a way to control this, and, for a while, it will have to be on my own.
I went to a psychologist last year, after a lot of doctors told my mom it was necessary, but I stopped going because of a bad experience there; she told me my bisexuality was just a consequence of all the shit that has happened to me, and she even tried to convince me of "therapy-ing it out" or some shit. After that, I stopped going there, and now my mom doesn't want to take me anywhere else (she doesn't know of my sexuality, she just thinks it's not necessary and that I can solve my anxiety and depression on my own, because it is "just in my head").
The thing is: it is impossible for me to get a psychologist to see me right now, my mom just doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say.
I am seventeen, I will find a job in a near future, and I'm going to a decent psychologist as soon as I become eighteen; I am aware I need it.
What I need to know is some way to deal with this until I find a way of reaching for professional help.
Do you have any tips for me? Anything I can do while I wait? Some kind of advice you can give me?
Thank you, in advance.