Rough couple of weeks

Two weeks ago started feeling major crash coming on and decided i wasn't going through another one. Found out the lethal dose of one of my meds. It would have been two bottles so i decided to stop taking them to build up enough figured no one would notice since they don't work anyway. Went until monday and i felt really good. Happy talkative but by the end of the day started crashing again. Tuesday was total RAGE. Ended with me trying to dig up my father's urn and smash it at 10 o'clock pm but couldn't find. Haven't left my room until i was or told to either get a shower shave and change clothes or have a bucket of soapy water thrown on me and held down and shaved. Have a psych appointment on tuesday but worried to talk to doc about any of this because i'll probably end up in the pych ward again. That place is like something out of the 18th century and never helps.

Sorry if any of this sounds crazy or rambled but just had to get it out there.

4 Replies

  • You don't say what happened on Tuesday. Since it was almost over and you were still being made to shower and shave late Tuesday eve, I suppose you never made it to your appointment with your psych Dr. and it sounds like you made it to the psych ward. You also didn't follow up on your suicide plans which is a good thing. I hope whoever made you come found the pills you were collecting.

    The hospital may not be where you want to be, but at least they keep you from hurting yourself. That's something very good. And the crash you can feel coming can be treated there if you tell the doctors how you feel. I hope you do tell them. Why not make them work for you and prevent the crash? Oh, that sounds so good!! To prevent the crash is ideal, don't you think? Oh, yeah!! Please go ahead and tell them about that and let them work to get that under control.

  • After tues didn't leave my room until today only because i was forced due to the smell i guess. See doc this coming tues

  • Ah, I see. 2 different Tuesdays.

  • I kind of ramble when i get like this

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