can't cope anymore

[aspears]

Hi, I am new here. My social anxiety and depression is getting worse. I can't handle crowds because everyone stares at me like they think there is something bad wrong with me. They laugh and make remarks and I don't know why. I get sick to my stomach and I can't breathe. I can't go anyplace anymore without being judged. I feel so bad about myself because of other people. I don't enjoy my life. I can't cope anymore. I wish I could get help, but I don't have money for a therapist. 😢

[irishmermaid]

I would suggest talking to close friends. It is a horrible feeling to be suffering from depression and anxiety. Everyone here will understand and try to help you. Please do not do anything you might regret. You have a life ahead of you. Times you have yet to experience. It's the law, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. For all this suffering, you will be rewarded someday with happiness beyond your dreams. Do not give up. You are loved.

[aspears in reply to irishmermaid]

Thank you so much.

[irishmermaid in reply to aspears]

Never give up. I promise, it's hard, but things have to get better

[Cruncher]

It is very hard to deal with it, with social anxiety. I deal with it myself. But I have learned that the people in the crowds do not really care about me, and I do not care about them. Ask yourself, will they matter in a day? A week? A year? or how about 50 years? It can make going in public uncomfortable, but it helps to remember that their opinions of you do not affect your life. They are not able to hurt you. They are people in public that you will never see again. Try to avoid crowds when possible though. It also helps to remember that they are just people.

Please do not something regrettable. It might seem like an easy solution, but in reality it leaves a trail of heartbreak, tears, and emotional and phycological trauma to those around you, from the coworker to your dearest relative. It just passes on your hurt to other people.

[aspears in reply to Cruncher]

Thanks. I'll try to remember that, but it's hard.

[Cruncher in reply to aspears]

Very hard, but a step in the right direction. Social anxiety is a rough time but not impossible. I used to be a lot worse.

[aspears]

Thanks for being understanding. I need someone to talk to. My husband doesn't understand. He tells me to grow up and get over it and it's very hurtful. He doesn't know what it's like to feel this way.

[Cruncher in reply to aspears]

You are more than welcome. You are doing the right thing by coming to this forum. It has helped me so much too, coming here.

I'm sorry that your husband is not understanding. I find a lot of times that other people do not understand. Most people do not have anxiety issues, and they are completely ignorant of what many anxiety disorders entail. So due to that, they think that they can just tell us to "get over it" and tell us to respond differently to situations. Of course we can always help ourselves and try to work on our anxiety and respond in better ways over time, but the bottom line is as much as we can help our disorders, we cannot always rid ourselves of them entirely. People don't understand that though.

I think that most people view anxiety as a temporary feeling they sometimes get over situations that clearly call for anxiety. They don't understand that people with anxiety disorders can get anxious over many little things, or sometimes over nothing at all! Sometimes you just get anxious for no reason. But to many, this is not a reality for them. So they see us getting anxious and scared over average things like ordering at a restaurant, or walking down a crowded hallway, and they think "that's dumb, I do that all the time and it is no big deal". Ha, if only they knew what anxiety disorder people went through on a daily basis.

I hope that one day your husband comes around and is understanding.

[Kobojunkie]

If you cant cope anymore, why not go straight to get yourself a good psychiatrist who can help you get on a treatment plan that helps set you on the part to taking back control of your mind and your life.

What are you waiting for? What do you gain by delaying your treatment any further?

[aspears in reply to Kobojunkie]

I wish I could, but I can't because I don't have the money. I still owe my hospital bill from when I had surgery. Money is really tight right now.

[Kobojunkie in reply to aspears]

what country do you live in? are there no social service programs that help low income people with health needs?

[aspears in reply to Kobojunkie]

I live in the United States. I'm not sure if there are any programs to help people.

[Kobojunkie in reply to aspears]

you live in the US and you have never heard or Medicaid? You live in the US and you don't know that hospitals cannot turn you away because of past debt? 🤔

[aspears in reply to Kobojunkie]

I have heard of Medicaid, but I don't know if they would accept me or not. I am on my husband's insurance but it's worthless. They won't hardly pay anything on any of my bills. I am out $3000 right now because of my hospital bill. I don't know how Medicaid actually works. And I don't know if there is anything else.

[Kobojunkie in reply to aspears]

so what exactly is keeping you from learning how Medicaid and everything else works?

your husbands insurance is worthless? Did you all not read the information on it before purchasing it to begin with?

Across the country there are community mental health clinic designed to help people with mental illness get help. If you are serious about taking back your life from mental illness, you will learn all you need to to help you get to those who can help you.

No one.else will do it for you.

[aspears in reply to Kobojunkie]

First of all, that is the only insurance his company offers so we don't have a choice.

[KBueno17 in reply to aspears]

I'm not really familiar with Medicaid myself, but you could try going here: hhs.gov/answers/medicare-an...

Unless you make next to nothing in income, chances are you are not eligible, but it is worth a shot to check it out.

Hospitals can and do turn patients away for *non-emergency* treatment, so I don't recommend going back there and accumulating more debt. That will just add to your anxiety!

You may want to try a Google search for sliding scale mental health clinics in (insert name of your town). There may be a waitlist or the number of visits may be limited but again, it is worth a try.

In the mean time, we can try to help each other. That is why I just joined.

[mysmugcat]

Hello. If you ever want to pm I'm here. Sorry to hear these things. Ppl often don't understand mental illness, do they.

[aspears]

Thank you. I will private message you.

[kitty2017]

Why others are laughing or making remarks at you? Can you explain what's so different about you that you are getting all this attention?

We live in a societal world.. now if someone colors their hair pink or dresses in a certain way to get attention-- then they will get attention. Now it's none of anyone's business how u dress how u look.. but this is how society behaves in general. Be proud within and live your life. Ignore others.

[aspears in reply to kitty2017]

I have absolutely no clue why they are treating me this way. It drives me nuts because I don't know why. If I knew the reason why, I would change whatever it is. I may not be the prettiest person, but I don't see anything wrong with me. I wish I could feel good about myself. People are making me feel worse. They are so judgemental and I hate it!

[kitty2017 in reply to aspears]

Ask your parents, ask their opinion, discuss with them. They will tell u the honest truth since they want the best for u and care for u the most. Or when someone makes fun of u again- u pause and say - what's so funny? Can u explain. Be open to ask and be open to reply back if u feel offended. You don't have to change for others but you have to stop their nonsense behavior towards you. For that you gotta ask them bluntly.

And you will know why

[Hidden]

Hi good to meet you. I can't add much to the excellent advice you have been given but just want to remind you that other people are much too wrapped up in their own lives to give tuppence about you. If you act strangely in public then people are bound to stare and might even make remarks. Just put a face on and if in doubt smile.

Unfortunately many people will pick on someone who shows they are vulnerable. When others start judging you then practise judging them instead. This is positive instead of negative.

[aspears]

I don't act strange in public at all, so I don't know what is going on.

[BonnieSue in reply to aspears]

I wonder if you may be thinking that they are judging you when really they aren't focused on you at all? That you aren't the subject of their conversations at all? I can't imagine that they would care about you unless you have some rare appearance of some sort. And you seem to be saying you don't stand out in any way.

[kitty2017 in reply to BonnieSue]

But if he is feeling offended then it must be true. We don't get offended unless we are being offended. So we shouldn't question his judgement but rather ask those why exactly they are disrespecting him. He should ask them directly. Period.

[BonnieSue in reply to kitty2017]

I don't agree but he is free to do what you suggest if he wants to.

[kitty2017 in reply to BonnieSue]

Who am I or you to suggest. It's just an opinion. We all do what we want to do in life