somebody please help

[Leslie64]

I wake up every single day in such severe panic I feel as though I may not make it much longer. I've lost so much weight from the anxiety I have no strength. I dont feel like making food. Im nauseous all the time. I cry from 7am-8pm. I have PTSD, severe anxiety and depression. Im afraid of everything. I cant take antidepressants (had seratonin syndrome), my anti anxiety doesn't do much and I just can't live in my skin. Its been 8 months of living hell. I have two therapists, a doctor and a pyschiatrist. Nothings changing. The outpatient programs are not options for me as a single parent. I've been a strong mother, career woman, etc my whole life and now, about to be empty nested, a recent break up and the realization not many are there for me or understand, I just cant take it. Please help.

[Israa]

Stay strong please .. I'm here for you

I suffer also from depression and anxiety for about 5 months

Some days are like a hell i can't eat , study or work but it passed and I'm a bit better

Believe me this will pass too .. you are strong more than you though

[Leslie64 in reply to Israa]

Thank you. Im so scared Israa. Im not a kid. I've been fine my whole life. And now at 52? I can't stand it.

[Israa in reply to Leslie64]

I'm completely understand you .. i know how much it's hard and silly specially if you have a strong personality

Please try as much as you can to accept it

It's an illness .. never blame your self it's out of your control but believe me if you take your medication and accept this illness it will pass

And you will recover and be stronger than you were before

[deborah27 in reply to Leslie64]

i hope you don't mind me asking you this. is there a possibility that the menopause is happening for you?

[Window2017]

I know how you feel. I wake up every morning sweating, nausea is so bad. I gag all the time. I have been with the same company for 25 years and about to be fired cause I can't work all the time. I'm tired of being tired...

[Leslie64 in reply to Window2017]

Its horrifying. I just dont know if I can keep going. I get no relief at all.

[M5asj1 in reply to Leslie64]

Try to stay strong. There are people out there thinking of you and pulling for you to get better. Sorry you're going through this right now.

[Leslie64 in reply to M5asj1]

Thank you. I wish we had a forum to talk in. It would be so much better for me to be able to talk rather than email. I do have therapists, but its not quite the same.

[River12]

I understand exactly. I have PTSD from domestic abuse and also cannot take antidepressants.What anti-anxiety medication are you taking? I have found doctors do not want to prescribe the anti-anxiety meds that actually work because they may be addictive. But when you have the type of anxiety we have, addiction is our least concern. You are a very pretty young lady. God bless you.

[Leslie64 in reply to River12]

Im on xanax. 1.5 3 x/day. My anxiety is very severe. I tried antidepressants but had severe reactions that led to seratonin syndrome that nearly killed me. Even the xanax doesn't really work. At least not in the morning. And my depresssion is so much worse. I've tried churches, other meetings, codependency and many other books. I've tried different types of therapies. My insurance wont cover TMS, neurofeedback or any outpatient programs I can get to ( I am too anxious to drive more than a few miles) and the programs are all horrible, per a few people I know that have been to them. Acupuncture helps for an hour or so but thats about it. This is just excruciating and I just dont see my body holding out much longer. I cannot eat at all.

[River12 in reply to Leslie64]

I'm surprised Xanax doesn't help. You said this has been going on for 8 months and that you have PTSD. And that you were okay until then. and that you are afraid all the time. That is what it is like for me plus nightmares every night. I don't want to pry, but did an event or remembering a horrible event start this whole thing? Have you been able to tell your therapist about it?I know some things are so painful you can't think about them much less talk about them.

[Threej in reply to Leslie64]

When I couldn't eat I drink smoothies bananas with frozen strawberries peanut butter it wasn't easy but the nutrition will help period I take Xanax I take klonopin and I take Zoloft I have tried other things like distilled water do some research on YouTube there are a lot of crazy things out there but there are some people out there who have made their health better by juicing it helps me when I'm able to do it. Right now it's really bad and I don't know why but I know you can get through this I had about 7 months of Hell one of my supervisors at my job she was off for six months with the depression and severe panic attacks so you really are not alone. The distilled water is supposed to pull toxins out of your body I've tried that just research it I don't like to make recommendations but the sleepy time tea I drink lots and lots of that seems to help with the mixture of the lemongrass and other things just hang in there I mean it will get better if you don't give up

[cvitela]

Leslie you can do this, I went through exactly what you are going through my anxiety was so bad I couldn't drive or go to the store but now after a few years of meds and seeing a counselor I am living a normal life. If you ever need to talk, call or text 806 777-8142...Calvin.

[bekahwillislv88]

Leslie64 - So sad to see such a pretty lady with all these issues. Leslie I wish I had some magic words for you. All I can say is that in a weird way you're still feeling, that's a good thing! some people don't feel anything that means they're dead inside. Our society makes depression, feeling negative, and even being vulnerable as "weak" but in reality people who talk that way are most likely to be all the more troubled....they make it sound like you can't "deal with life" but really it's not that...it's just that they are weaker so they have to hide it better....they're forced to....because their afraid of what people will think of them. You on the other hand are intelligent enough to know what's wrong with you and are taking positive action to overcome it. I know this sounds typical and I don't like hearing either, but you really did do the right thing by coming here for help. The most destructive thing you can do is what most people do which is, try to pretend nothing bothers them. We all have weaknesses. We're all human. In fact, studies have proven that the person who says "I have no weaknesses" is the weakest of them all. I'm here if you need me, feel free to holler at me anytime.

God Bless ~