Just looking for understanding I guess

Hi everyone, I'm new here and not sure what to say or if anyone will respond. I just feel I need to reach out as I'm struggling to stay positive. Does anyone ever feel as though you're doing well and for some unknown reason you sabotage yourself and let yourself slip into sadness and negativity? I tend to binge eat when I hit low points n my weight fluctuates all the time which makes everything worse! Any recommendations would be helpful to kind of level my head?! I don't know if anyone can really help, but I'm appreciative in advance. x

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  • I think a lot of us women especially eat comfort food when we feel the need for comfort. Makes sense, doesn't it? We are usually the ones who hold things together and nurture others but then who nurtures us?? We comfort ourselves sometimes. We nurture ourselves sometimes. We need a break so we take it. Do you ever catch yourself delaying gratification over and over? And then finally you take it? And maybe you take a big hunk of it? Maybe a whole day off?? Watch movies? Do nothing constructive?

    I recommend that you and I give ourselves better treatment more often so we don't need these huge breaks where we relax ALL of the rules and go too far. Where we eat too much of something we should just eat a little bit of. And so on. We need to be kind to ourselves all of the time. And sometimes that means a loving "no". Oh, yeah!

  • Hi there! Welcome :) I sabotage myself on cycle that seems to be time-related. I'm not sure if it's the seasons, a certain number of weeks, or even my menstrual cycle, but I'll be doing well for a couple months and then I'm deeply depressed or suicidal. I let my thoughts spiral downward in angry, sad, and self-deprecating ways, and it affects my loved ones. Please be kind to yourself in this regard; we all make mistakes!

    I've never struggled with an eating disorder, but I can tell you what helps me be kind to myself. Getting enough sleep is really big for me. I try to drink lots of water and hot tea, because I find that's really soothing. (Note: 1kg of weight is equal to ~1L of water. If you drink a lot of water during the day, and your weight shoots up ~2lbs, this may be why!) Sometimes I can catch my thoughts when I know they're out of proportion with reality; my best success in doing this comes from writing in my journal, talking to people who love me, and- when need- using the right professionals' guidance.

    It can be really hard to love your body when under stress. But your body needs and is deserving of love, which comes in the form of sleep, good food, social affection, and positive self regard. When you feel tempted to binge eat, perhaps think to yourself, "X, who loves me, would never do this to me or tell me to do this." To each her own though! You may be different!

  • Yep! I eat to feel comfort, gain weight, then feel like crap. Then I'm like seriously, why did I just do this to myself this is super awful? Now I'm really going to feel like garbage when I can't fit my pants. Been there done that.

  • Wow, it's nice to know people understand. Thank you so much for taking the time to provide such helpful responses. I agree we do need to be kinder to ourselves, I've never really thought about giving myself 'little breaks' as I do tend to go all or nothing for everything, I'm definitely going to try this. It's difficult to change that mindset but I've got to try otherwise this cycle continues forever! And the journal idea really resonates with me and be something I'll find helpful!

    Does doing regular excerise help anyone with low moods/depression? Has anyone found a notable change?

    Thanks x

  • Yes, when I am outside walking or biking I do feel a change. It does not change "what is" but can help with moods / and having a better outlook.

  • Exercise is one of the best things you can do for yourself. The benefits show up quickly. It makes you feel better physically and you get the endorphins and get rid of a lot of stress.

  • That's a pattern I have had, too. I believe that some part of me believes that I don't deserve to be happy and well. I fight it by smiling into the mirror (which feels silly at first but really does help!), and trying to "catch" the negative talk in my head and argue back with positive affirmations. You are a good person, and you deserve to be well.

  • That's exactly how I felt that there's a certain thing in me that's trying to stop me succeeding. I am definitely going to try that. Thank you so much :)

  • I go through that too due to guilt from the past. Then I say, "What good does that do?"

  • Yes! I so much relate to what you said about guilt. When I hear myself say things like "What good is that" or "What good are you" That's the self-talk that sounds like me and my Mom put together, and it tries to sabotage me sometimes when I start feeling confident. I'm not good with words, so it's hard for me to do that "affirmation" thing. But I can smile at myself in the mirror and say, "You're OK" or "Ain't nothing wrong with you!" or whatever. And that helps lift the depression, and improve my clarity of thought.

  • That's a great outlook. It is important to live in reality, but also realize you do deserve to be well.

  • I totally understand I feel like I'm doing great then bang I can't handle anything

  • It's been a bit that way today. It's difficult isn't it? What do you do to stop or snap out of it quicker?

  • I think that's the way life is sometimes, and women I also believe worry more.

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