I guess I'm just tired?

[dead_inside]

for the last 6 or 7 months I've been heavily contemplating suicide... i know I know this sounds like something for attention already and to be truthful it kind of is. to me this life of mine isn't worth living. I have no family and i have no friends so I seek help in an online community where others feel how I do, but nobody could ever feel the way that i do. The loneliness the hopelessness the lack of self worth and self love. When I wake up in the mornings the first thing I think of is how i wish I had died in my sleep. I don't eat in hopes that maybe I'll die from low blood sugar induced coma. before I go to sleep I take sleeping pills in hopes that one day I won't wake up. I have contacted many suicide hotlines and they all help in the moment but it's never long term. I go back to how I was within about a week. no one notices the pills missing and the weight I'm losing because no one cares. i am alone.

[aj29]

Really sorry to hear all this!

Have you tried getting professional help?

Talking to someone can help SO much! Maybe a therapist.

Or any group therapies near you?

I know it can be so hard but you can't give up on yourself. I have the same thoughts some days. But I push them away and think positive. Pleas look into getting help. This wouldn't wouldn't be better without you.

Hugs and prayers your way!

[dead_inside in reply to aj29]

I tried seeking professional help but I still a minor and my family sees my thoughts and feelings of sadness and suicide as hormones. lmfao I guess that's why I'm here.

[McTrisha]

You are not alone. I am here and can relate to your feelings. Life on this earth is a struggle to me and I find no joy. I probably would have checked out many years ago, but I have two children. I know that it would destroy their lives so its not an option.

I used to have hope. Hope I'd feel better one day, hope I'd meet someone kind to share my life with, hope the next new medication would be 'the one', hope I would learn to relax and enjoy a day or two. As I near 52 I realize that none of it will probably happen.

[Struggling777]

I'm so sorry to hear how hard it is for you. I wish there was somebody to help and support you in person but this group is full of caring people.

I also pray not to wake up sometimes and I thought I'd never feel like this again.

I understand about the helplines but sometimes that comfort can make a big difference even if for a short time. When you're very low it's hard to think straight sometimes but positive thinking does help. We need to change our thought process and take very small steps.

Have you thought of counselling? It may help you and I hope things look up for you very soon. Best wishes.

[gogogirl]

I hope you will find a peer support group ( in person) - as well as contacting a crisis hotline.

[gogogirl]

To add: Try contacting NAMI. I am sure that asking someone to do more when he/she has little energy is a lot but it will be worth it. Would you like to share privately about what is bothering you?

[dead_inside in reply to gogogirl]

yes that'd be really nice.

[gogogirl in reply to dead_inside]

okay you may do that to gogogirl

[b1b1b1]

You say you are a minor. Are you in school? Most schools and colleges have counseling and social workers and psychiatrists available. Maybe talk to a teacher, guidance councilor, or other adult in your school. I am sure they will try to get professional help for you. Just do it. It is important. You are valuable.