Hi all. I am hoping that an online community can help me feel like there are more people in my life who truly understand me. I've been feeling hopeless and pretty lost in my anxiety and bipolar cycles lately. I have a Psychiartrist and Therapist - just seeking support.
Diagnostically, I am Bipolar Type 2 which exhibits itself in almost constant high anxiety, long periods of sleep (when I can on the weekends) and depression. I have been on lithium carbonate for about a year now, and am more stable than I have ever been. I no longer have huge mood swings, just seasonable stuff. My anxiety ranges from 3-9 every day, there is NO time I am not anxious - 50% of the time it translates into my sleep but sometimes it doesn't. On the very anxious days I weep a lot, but I am able to hold down a job except for the occasional here and there. Any day I do take off due to anxiety leaves me feeling ashamed and embarassed.
I would appreciate any advice as to fighting that initial anxiety when I wake up in the morning. It is the thickest for me. Like the day is going to swallow me whole, and I will fail at everything I do. I spent a lot of my weekends in bed because of this, and I feel like I'm just watching my life pass me by. I don't have a ton of friends my age that aren't very busy with families and such, and so I spend a lot of time feeling pretty out of the loop. Any encouragement or even someone who has felt this way would be neat.
Sorry if this is too dramatic. Thanks.