brand new here

[bri10]

I'm brand new on this website, but I just wanted to get some support. I feel so alone all the time and I feel like no one really notices me. I get panic attacks all the time because I miss the way my family used to be before my mother got incarcerated. I'm so tired of staying up until 2 or 3 in the morning feeling so alone...I just need some support.

[BonnieSue]

Hi bri10,

I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. I can tell you miss her and I would feel the same. I'm up at the same hours you are, but I don't feel lonely. I'm sorry to hear that you feel lonely. We could connect sometimes! ...if you want to, that is.

What are some things that interest you? Are you creative at all? Do you like to read? Do you like to swim? Camp? Or travel or explore new places? Tell me about you please. I like to garden also. I love to come home to my plants blooming so beautifully when I pull into my driveway and walk up to the house. It's so welcoming. Such a pretty scene with the bench and the pots of flowers and the bricks underneath. It has taken a lot of time and work to get to this stage but now it's wonderful to see and it still is work to maintain but so worth it.

Ok, that's enough about that. I'll stop there. Please tell me about you.

[bri10 in reply to BonnieSue]

I like to swim and I like to just be outside alone or with my friends. I think it's really enjoyable in the summer when it is warm and welcoming outdoors.

[BonnieSue in reply to bri10]

Oooh, I like to swim also! It's something you do alone, though. Pretty much, that is. I have swum laps with a friend before. But mostly you're in your own world, feeling one with the water and moving and feeling the waves and water moving around you. It's a great feeling, isn't it? And when you come up out of the water and see a friendly face, that's good, too, isn't it? Or would be, wouldn't it?

When you're outside with friends, what kind of things do you do?

[gogogirl in reply to bri10]

I am here as well. I agree with the summer and the outdoors. I know you cannot control what happened to your mom, and the well of sadness you must feel.

[mysmugcat in reply to BonnieSue]

Sounds nice and nice post.

[Hidden]

Hi, there are lots of people in this site who can offer you support so do post when you need it. It must be hard missing you mum. My mum died 21 years ago but I still miss having her around. Have you brothers or sisters?

A good way to get to know people is to volunteer or join a group of some sort. It depends what you enjoy but I'm sure there must be something that you are interested in. In the uk it's volunteer week so there are lots of adverts online of charities needing help. If you can find one you are interested in it would be good to contact them and ask how you could get involved.

[LeiL1]

You are not alone. Its just a feeling. I have it too. We all do. Accept that things have changed and find a way to make the best of the worst.

[Madison10]

Hi, I am new to this website also. I understand what it's like to feel alone. Do you have any interests? Like to read? Movies? It's very hard to slow down your mind. I have been doing breathing excercises and meditation. If you want to chat, I am here

[bri10 in reply to Madison10]

I don't have much time to think about what I like to do because it seems like all I am doing is just worrying about other things. I don't know, I need to learn some things to do when my mind runs faster than my body and I can't control my thoughts anymore. If you have any suggestion for slowing down my mind, please let me know.

[Teresa05]

I know just how you feel but it looks like a lot of people care on here

[bri10 in reply to Teresa05]

It's a good feeling to see that people care. I am obviously not used to that. I am very used to the feeling of people hating me, calling me names, and belittling me. So this is a bit of a change.

[gogogirl]

Sorry to hear about your mom. You are human.

[bri10 in reply to gogogirl]

I know sadness is normal for this situation, but I think that the sadness I experience isn't very normal.

[gogogirl in reply to bri10]

You are in a situation that most cannot even imagine. You must miss your mom very much. How often can you visit her? I hope you do not mind me asking.

[bri10 in reply to gogogirl]

I don't mind you asking at all. I don't visit much because we have a horrible relationship. The reason she is there is because she stole everything from our family business and took out credit cards in all of me and my siblings names as well as my fathers (he had to file bankruptcy for $1M he never saw). She just was very abusive to me and my siblings, but there were some good times. She was nice at times, but she has bipolar disorder so sometimes she was also very mean. So I don't see her. I just miss the idea of a mother, you know. So it hurts a lot.

[gogogirl in reply to bri10]

Whoa. I am so sorry that happened to you, and the rest of your family also. I also hope that you receive some support from them now. Thank goodness that you have friends who are there for you, and accept you as you are. I am here also. How was your day today?