Nervous

[Free-thoughts]

So I am super nervous and don't really know how to do this. First time with using a site like this but thought why not. I feel very lonely even though I do have people around me. I don't feel like I can be me though since I don't even know who I am. It's hard to relate to people that think they know what's going on, but I don't feel like I can truly talk to anyone. It's like I am trapped in my own emotions that are hiding behind this person I potray myself to be. I try to be this person I think they might like but I feel like even if I weren't there they would be fine. Like if i moved away they would give the oh I'm really going to miss you let's not lose touch but in reality people just give out fake promises because I mean come on most people don't want to tell you," ya you were great while you were convenient to talk to, but probably just gna find someone else to be friends with, bye *skips away*" I have seen it first hand watching someone do it to someone they knew they would never want to hang out with.

[jkl5500]

Are you getting treatment for all this? Feelings of emptiness, loneliness, not feeling "real", feeling unworthy of friendship, are all classic symptoms of depression. And don't forget the anxiety. (I'm not a doctor, just a fellow sufferer.) You need to make an appointment with your doctor and tell him the same things you mentioned here.

[Free-thoughts in reply to jkl5500]

I'm getting some slight help. I am on a medication but it just makes me feel a little numb. The doctor i had didn't really seem to care. Just wanted me to get in and out just so he can say he saw me. Sort of made me feel like even the doctor doesn't want to care either. I have felt this way my whole life. In first grade my teacher even approached my mother with concern about me having depression but my mother I guess just ignored it.

[jkl5500 in reply to Free-thoughts]

You need to see a psychiatrist instead. Your GP probably is not that knowledgeable about mental health issues. (It sounds like you need a new GP as well, if he treats you that way.) A psychiatrist will get to the root of your problem, and not just brush you off. Please don't let this drag on. It won't get better all by itself. Believe me, I know. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist ASAP.

[Free-thoughts in reply to jkl5500]

Aren't they expensive? I have a child and extra money is hard to come by.

[jkl5500 in reply to Free-thoughts]

If you don't have insurance, you can search online for clinics that serve people with lower incomes in your area. You might try calling your doctor's office to see if they know of any. Just do some searching online, and make some phone calls.

[Free-thoughts in reply to jkl5500]

Thank you for your input I appreciate it.

[MommyBro]

I understand what you're thinking and feeling, I think. Within the last few years I have realized that I have mostly been lying to everyone my whole life, just trying to be who I think people want me to be, rather than being my authentic self. The problem is that after so many years of lying I no longer know who I am, nor how to clear out all the junk so I can figure it out. The ironic thing is that if a person is just trying to be who the other person wants them to be so that they will like you, the other person recognizes, subconsciously if not overtly, that you're not being authentic, so they don't really like you.

[Free-thoughts in reply to MommyBro]

People say look within but how exactly do you do that? There is so much in the way to try and look through, you are right. Where do you start?

[ferris2424]

Go online for things like guided meditation and other activities that help to train your mind differently. I never thought meditation would be part of my life, but after a tough stretch I am actually finding it helps. Medication and some form of therapy are essential.

[GHTroubled]

FIRST,AND NOW-NOT LATER :see a psychiatrist- proper medication and a consult can well renew your life: quell anxiety, mood disorders, social discombobulation: restore self-assurance and such > will not happen 'ovrnite-' time is necessary for the drugs to effect- perhaps 6-8 weeks, and will require following 'talk' sessions: do it and it will transform your life . I have been tre, been hospitalized for mood disorders, a againa whole man comfortable in my psyche and ego